I'm workin on it

Back in the day...

2011-05-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

I’ve been listening to some Ken Kesey lately. Pretty interesting stuff. Ironically I just listened to Danger Angel on BurnCast, the similarity is um, interesting. Certainly I believe you can find these types of connections quite easily from generation to generation. What am I talking about? Well my perception is that each generational ‘group’ thinks the way they ‘did’ it was better, cooler, more organic. You hear it on Ragbrai all the time. People say, “well you know it used to be (more fun, less cops, crazier..)” Heck I’ve even said it. But I am beginning to think it is just DIFFERENT. You can do Woodstock, Burning Man and Ragbrai year after year after year….it will never be ‘like the 1^st time’ ‘or the way it used to be’. Why? Because it NOT that time. Things change……

Talk Derby to me....or just lie.

2011-05-11T11:06:00.001-07:00

So I been busy, eh, well that is my excuse anyway. Sort of I have. Working two jobs really sucks up ALL of my time, then by the weekend it’s either run, run, run or do nothing at all.

The Kentucky Derby was a different kind of fun this year. Sarah and I drove down, it was a quick 9 hour drive and the second time we have driven to central Kentucky. We got within a few miles of her aunts house and stop for drinks. Then we promptly got lost trying to find the house!

Her sister Renae met us there. Love Renae but she could use a drink or twelve. Sarah’s aunt Mary was so sweet, she fed us, drove us back and forth and took us behind the scenes to the barns. Those horses are amazingly beautiful creatures! The people that work with them are some super dedicated individuals.

Then in the infield I was really glad to introduce Sarah and family to my friends and their best spot eva! They didn’t think you would be able to see anything from the infield; well you just have to be in the right spot!

I can’t not mention the ‘drama’. Since last year the ‘kitten’ was blowing up my phone about the Derby, I decided to return the favor. So for like two weeks

I texted (when we leaving, so excited, hat is ready…blah, blah) all to no response.

Finally I, text :um it’s just a trip, and you owe me(our old joke), nevermind.

That did it he replied:

-we’re not going,

- my bus was vandalized

- he thinks I’m not going to do anything fb

- just want to meet with sheriff and small claims

Um….what? So I, being nice now text:

-what is fb

-what happened

-sorry to hear about bus, but was told you were going

Then he replies:

-just stop it

Again, um, what? The man has totally lost it. So whatever…..that is until guess who is at the Derby….in the bus! Yeppers. When I walked up he immediately darts to the bus! What up liar?! Not only are you there but your vandalized bus looks fine to me. So…..pathetic, when I see him in the infield, he turned heel and went the other direction. Really?

On a good note got to see Steve and meet his friend (who was tanked on Mint Juleps). I like being around Steve he has calming effect on me, he is also not bad on the eyes….so yeah me!!

Well hellloooo

2011-05-11T10:26:00.001-07:00

Honestly though I have been feeling really good, happy, content, you know o.k. Which says a whole lot. What a difference a year makes!

Been really excitedly preparing for Burning Man. Finished my bike, it is soooo cute! Got some awesome wears…fur coat (need to light it), fur vest, rope lighting, scarves, and a whole box load of do hickeys! I need to get some tubes for all this stuff, but I am holding out for some pink ones. Made a half ass attempt at making jewelry. It wasn’t bad, but it would be tons better if I didn’t rush the process, used more color, and oh yeah followed the instructions.

Camping with Pink Heart is going to be awesome! I signed up to work on the water bar and public area decorations. Will probably end up doing much more as I can’t much pre burn. But that’s good cause being active is good for me, and I can interact with more people. Think I may have secure a ride (hopefully) sharing gas and going with someone who knows what they are doing is always good.

In other news, agh the lose weight plan is well non existent at the moment. I think I have lost and gained the same 10 pounds all winter long. That is not motivating. Even though I looked really great for the wedding in my tight fitting super curvy dress, looking good with clothes on has never been the problem. Need to find more time to bike and get my lazy ass to the gym. Only a 109 days til BM and 70 days to Ragbrai, um and like 45 pounds to go. Crappers.

In the now K2's are ski's

2011-04-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

This whole living in the now, being present idea, I get. It’s not a hard concept to wrap your mind around. Putting it into practice however is whole other ball game.

Lets just take the internet. I am online, like constantly. Need info Google it, share my great day-facebook, new recipes, new books, new people…….yeah I’m still looking for the end of the net. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah see it is so super easy for me to drift from the now moment. Even with it right here in front of me; I quickly can jump to somewhere else. A future event….look it up on the internet, a past event…the internet holds onto the memories I forget. Now the internet is not bad, well not mostly, but I need to learn to limit my time there.

The TV too. My guilty pleasures, reality television. Ok everyone needs an escape. But the news, ah, that is so frustrating. For instance last night before bed no less, they did a story about K2. A smokable form of potpourri, um the key word there is potpourri! Kid smoked this stuff and hmm…died, killed himself, whatever, parents blame K2! Hold the incense! Why, why, why is your kid smoking potpourri!??

Now the parents want it banned….you know for the safety of the kids. WTF. People you can legislate stupidity. My potpourri satchel is for refreshing my drawers not smoking. So frustrating. Now wonder our government is so messed up….they waste valuable time dealing with crap like this.

Now excuse me while returned to the now moment. Where things are good and stupid do not reign.

Kiddos

2011-03-30T12:59:00.000-07:00

Kiddos, I don’t have any, don’t want any….yea I’m good. I’m just really aware that I am in now way prepared for that type of emotional responsibility. That and the fact that there is nothing in the whole world that makes me wanna.

Parents are always doing the count (that what I call it). Countdown until they have the baby, til the kids walking/talking, til school, graduation… Because after the kids get to ‘here’ then I can…I desire not to spend my life in countdown mode.

All this stirred up in my head yesterday. This girl I work with is married and they have a 3 year old, plus she 4 months pregnant. She is kinda you but doesn’t seem to know a whole lot about anything. (unless she’s hiding it) Like she never know where places are in town, about concerts or restaurants. Every time she says she hasn’t heard of something I’m like really.

Dear Universe, never let me become so consumed with a husband and/or kids, that I forget to live my own life. Thanks bunches.

Hearing Check

2011-03-21T13:39:00.001-07:00

Why is it that guys always try to identify with my dad? Guys who never knew him. (and oh, could never measure up to him). I mean really. Statement from a guy this weekend: “I’m more like your dad than you are.” Um, what. I am totally hoping that because I was sipping on the sweet nectar that I heard that wrong. Rotate.

Getting Aligned

2011-02-22T09:16:00.000-08:00

Three things today- meditation, chakras and crystals!

I’ve been learning to meditate. I like it. It takes a lot more concentration than I really thought it would. Lately I have been doing guided meditation. Trying to do it on my own in a quiet room, is well, my mind wonders like a stray dog. After working out I get home, stretch then meditate, it has a nice calming effect.

There was online test for your chakra openness. I only have two that are open! I have some work to do. Of the seven chakras my Heart and Third Eye (Brow) are the most energized.

In an effort to balance my chakras off I went to the Ancient Ways store over by Carls Place. They have some interesting things in there. Saw some really cute boots (but they did not fit) and a cool cape (but 200 bucks, yea, no). Anyway they have crystals! I wasn’t sure what I needed at the time, so I got a cool black tourmaline crystal with a butterfly etched in it. It’s for strength and transformation, ok!

All in all I will be going back to the Ancient Ways Store! I’m excited to learn more about the crystals, chakras and meditation! I’ve become fascinated by this whole concept.

My Journey.........to the burn

2011-02-18T09:35:00.001-08:00

Just finished Love More Fear Less by John Halcyon Styn! One word- Awesome! Seriously excellent writing, thought provoking, easy read and truly inspiring. I’ve been told things come into your life as/when they are supposed to, I think that has happened here. Since I started ‘planning’ for burning man I’ve been made aware of enlightening reading/video material. Currently I’m reading the likes of Byron Katie, Jacob Glass and Rob Brezsny.

For some time now I’ve followed the Happiness Project, but it popped up when I was checking out Karpo Life Coaching after hearing about him thorough Halcyon. Whoa that’s like some full circle, small world stuff. Kinda neat. Life feels right when things start connecting.

One of my super favorite things is Hug Nation. Check it out, I highly recommend it. I’m always trying to catch the live version with the chat room there is an amazing energy present there!

Lastly I’ve been learning to meditate. I believe it does help settle me down or at least pull me back into the now. Being a planner at heart (I have 2 degrees in Planning, see 2 don't judge), I tend look past the present into the future. It’s been brought to my attention that sometimes all my planning, researching, and grand ideas of how things will be or should be just sets me up for a let down. This is true as not much can live up to the craziness in my head. So I’m working on becoming unattached to the outcome. Living in the now, concentrating on enjoying the journey to get there and letting what happens unfold, as it will.

This journey to burning man is going to be a time of growth and discovery for me. A time to discovering a side of me that (I believe was always there) but was just chillin under the surface. I’m excited, can you tell.

Silver and Gold

2011-02-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

Make new friends

but keep the old

one is sliver

but the others gold!

My weekend was super terrific! Got to hang out and reconnect with some old friends and connect with some new west coast friends. One question: Is it summer yet? This is gonna be a great summer.

The Ragbrai route is out, it looks like it’s gonna be awesome, even for bagging. I went up to BRR to socialize not ride. Even though the weather was nice, I’m a big baby like that. Just wanted to see some fun friends I haven’t seen in quite a while, and maximize my partying with that door-to-door bus deal! Got to spend time with my fav Checker, throw back a few with the beautiful Alinas, be in the presence of Evil and get coined by a Fish. I owned up to being coined, dang those Fish are good, I’ll be ready next time and there will be a next time!

Yes, I was quite the social butterfly. Spreading the E-love all over Perry, and even to Bouton. Oh, my mischievous plan did not play out as those on the receiving end did not show up. Hmmmmm, guess I underestimated my own fear inducing talents. Yeah me!

Spent Sunday connecting with my new West Coast buds. I was pretty excited about the Webcast Camp meeting as I officially received my Burning Man ticket on Friday! It will just break my little heart if I am unable to rock the week with the Pink Camp. Crossing all fingers/toes and putting out positive vibes in the Universe that this will happen. Even though technically the camp is full. I was encouraged by the reply to my email to join and the positive vibe of the meeting. They are so awesome.

Fear not there may be a secondary camp that would be fine. I just really want the Pink Camp to be a part of my first burn. To be able to contribute to that vision would be a-maze-ing! I don’t even mind it being Monday because tomorrow is Hug Nation!!!!!

No good deed...

2011-01-27T13:56:00.001-08:00

This weekend I am looking forward to …..sleep. For the last week or so the zz monster has been having his way with me. Working out is supposed to give you energy or something like that. So back to working out I go. It is terribly hard to get up and go in the morning but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Besides next week is the BRR ride and it’s gonna be a long week and weekend. If my social calendar is correct I will be ‘socializing’ next Thursday clear through Sunday evening. It’s hard being fun & popular! Hehe.

Oh best of all I have some mischievous plans for BRR weekend.

Side note- Got up this morning to go workout. Up all early givin myself the pep talk got dress and out the door! -------Then I got to the gym and realized I forgot my gym shoes!!!!!! Seriously!

Marcia on a stick

2011-01-26T07:46:00.000-08:00

Went out last weekend for my roomies birthday. Wowza, that was a good time. She just joined the forty and fabulous club so she rented a bus and it was game on. The bus was full of beer, jello shots, snacks and friends (read drunks). We started at Joe’s in Johnston nice tiny little bar I had never been (or last time I was there is was a boring martini bar). Then it was off to Polk City, where more people met up with us. Next stop was Slater and Madrid, this is where things got blurry. There were shots, snowmobiler’s, a guitar player and dancing to the juke box. If all that wasn’t enough we headed for Denny Arthurs last. Then there was whole lot of dancing.

Forgot how much I love going out to dance. People just don’t dance enough anymore. Whatever happened to the slow jams (yes I’m that old), but I digress. I got nabbed for bringing in a beer to DA’s, opps, my bad. Oh wait I forget the best part Marcia on a stick! Annette made them and well that led to some serious shenanigans. Somehow we managed to get back to our cars then popped into Perkins for breakfast. Because getting home before 4am just wouldn’t do. Good times!

Motivation where are you?

2011-01-26T07:38:00.000-08:00

I’ve fallen off the wagon and I can’t get up! Seriously, I was on such a roll. Getting up working out, eating better, drinking water all the good stuff. I knew going back to work was gonna suck the life out of my healthy plan. Working at home was so awesome! I got so much more done. Now I’m just a walking chubby zombie. It’s like Ground Hogs day eat, work, eat, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Part of the blame also lies the impromptu ski trip.

(Sunday friends call)

Friends: Hey lets go skiing!

Me: Um, ok, when?

Friends: Thursday!

Cut to me running around like a crazy women for three days, packing, shopping, waxing skis…ah!

Nevertheless a good time was had. Keystone was awesome, Breckenridge was busy, and I drank enough chardonnay to bout drown myself. Came home with great memories but completely wiped out.

I’ve been working the excuses like a champ. It’s too cold, too early, too late, too busy, too tired….basically I’m just too lazy. Just gotta get my fat a** motivated. Everything I’m totally stoked about is months away so at 5am it’s totally easy to be like um yea…..tomorrow. Ah…pathetic. On an up note there is a chance I could go skiing in Colorado again in February…….yeah, of course I want to go, you had to ask?

Burn baby Burn

2011-01-20T09:55:00.000-08:00

Since I turned 30 I have tried to do something ‘new’ each year. You know I a new adventure and on a decade year something big. In 2000 I did Ragbrai for the first time, then a 5k, 8k, Dam to Dam, bagged out, a solo bike tour…blah, blah. Well now it is a decade year again, I’m going to….drum roll………..Burning Man! Oh yeah! I’m super excited as I have wanted to do this since I hear about it like six years ago.

This year’s theme is Rite of Passage. My Rite of Passage began today when tickets went on sale at noon. I logged on right at noon, oh and so did like 30,000 other people! Three hours and multiple server issues later I got it, in the first tier (pricing is done in tiers). Buying Burning tickets is tantamount to buying Pearl Jam tickets back in the day. It’s a hodge podge, who ha, server crashing mess. I followed most of the commotion on facebook, everyone was having issues. I can only imagine what the line will be like to get into the place. I feel this will be a life changing event! But that is the idea!

Now the ticket is in the mail the real planning can begin. Bagging out to Ragbrai has upped my preparedness level. A lot of the “stuff” I will need has already been acquired. Just need some desert necessities (already ordered and received my sand goggles). Then there is logistics. This part will be a small challenge. Getting me, my stuff, and a bike all the way to Nevada will be a task. What I’ll really need is to hook up with someone who can take a first time burner under their wing. Um, yeah…..I’m workin on it...

Anywho I am suuuper duper excited!

It's just a gift card

2011-01-05T13:05:00.000-08:00

Ah yes first post of the New Year…..well I thought about posting about all the crap I learned in 2010. Yea, no. Instead think I’ll post about something that was on my mind today. Gift Cards.

Lately, mainly since the holidays I have seen all these stories on the news about gift cards. You know if you got a gift card that you don’t want you can trade them or sell them at these online sites. Headline News guy even suggested checking around to get the best deal. Um, what?

Who gets (or gives) a gift card they don’t want. Isn’t that kind of the point. So you can go get something you DO want with a gift card. What kind of gift card did you get that you just CAN’T use. If I got a Bass Pro Shop gift card (that would be weird) I could still use it. I at least know people who like Bass Pro Shop that I could get something for, or heck just give them the card. You know a pay it forward thing.

Seriously would you really put the time and effort into trading in the card or trying to get this best deal for said card? This is my thing with the whole Christmas gift-giving thing to begin with. Christmas gifts are for the kiddies, really you know the whole Santa deal. After you “grow up” is gift giving even really necessary?

Instead of agreeing to get each other gifts $20.00 or under; how about you keep your 20 and I’ll keep mine and we call it even. I’m inclined to believe most people give Christmas because they think they should, because they got one or because that what everyone else is doing anyway.

If I see something I thing a friend or family member needs or wants in June….I’ll get it for them, done. Oh and give it to them not save it for Christmas. That to me is special, I was thinking about you kind of a thing. Like I don’t want my boy of the moment to get me flowers for Valentines Day. Get me flowers on June 22nd that says you were thinking of me, that is special. But on the day when every Sue and Jane is getting says…oh, well everyone else is doing it.

We are such a society of do as I say not as I do. We tell kids not to do drugs because your friends are, don’t jump of a cliff because everyone else is. But we are constantly doing just that. Dude….it’s just a gift card.

You got a friend

2010-12-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

"When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go."
— Elizabeth Gilbert

So I have this ‘friend’ a guy friend. We have been friends for years. I care for him because he helped through a really tough time. Not sure that he really knows that but I won’t forget it. Also, he is a very smart, creative and energetic guy. However, yes there is a however, he is a guy with issues. I have my own theories as to how he acquired said issues…you know ‘his heart has been broken’ blah, blah.

But that is not the point, what is the point? Recently this guy friend let me down. Don’t you just hate when a friend disappoints you. Well he is a guy so it is not that surprising. But I believed him and believed in him. He dropped the ball.

Thing is, I’m not mad, disappointed yes, mad no. There was a time when something like this would have sent me into a tailspin. I like to think this is a sign of my maturity. People will show you who they are, I always hated that saying but it is true. No matter how much you care, trust, help and give; they can only be who they are.

Not matter what I will always be his friend, that's just who I am. But I question who he is and how I miss judged his character. Bit of unsolicited advice don’t take your friendships or your relationships for granted. So if friend lets you down, that's on them. Let it go!

It's feeling like BWR time

2010-12-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

Went to happy hour with old friends last night. Funny how things change but are pretty much the same! On an empty stomach I downed 3 (I think, I lost count) chardonnays and then a mystery free beer from the brew maker dude. Forgot the cardinal rule…..eat. Got home (don’t ask) by 8pm, thought I’d read til 9 then watch some Housewives of BH. Um, yeah…..at some point I passed out and woke up it was 1 am! Dang I hate that.

All in all this was a good reminder. With the Big Wheel Rally tomorrow I will really need to PACE myself and EAT. Who am I kidding it’s gonna be train wreck as usual, but a fun one. I’m excited on the inside!!

The BWR is like Christmas…all the anticipation..I still have much to do. A costume to finish, treats (if I have time), cider to make, and thank goodness I’m on the conference bike so no big wheel to portage.

I have an exit plan A & B in place (read no drinking and driving). Plans are in place to laid down some serious guilty on some unsuspecting parties.. (that is gonna be fun, for me). Out of town friends get in tonight for some pre partying. It’s gonna be quite the weekend!!!

Another year one less care

2010-12-07T07:31:00.001-08:00

Well my plan to write everyday in November didn’t exactly pan out. 19 posts in 30 days ain’t so shabby. Besides there were the holidays, a couple of Internet issues and a few things that I just couldn’t bring myself to post about. I’ve learned that having to write everyday is therapeutic but a stress I don’t need. My paranoid tendencies still make me wonder who’s reading this and how what I write is perceived.

But the good part is the older I get the less I care. So there! Yes that is one of the joys of getting older you care less and less. I totally see myself being one of those old ladies driving around in a big car….real slow. Not caring at all about the youngin behind me that has places to be! Can’t wait…..

Upgrade this!

2010-12-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever went to the store and just been annoyed? Sure you have. Well here’s my story of my trip to Target.

I just ran in to grab some new headphones to listen to music off my phone. Ones that won’t fall out of my ear when I run. I asked Dude #1 at the counter where do I find headphones? (note he never asked what kind and what for)

Dude #1: Those are in aisle B9.

Off I go to B9, there are multiple types and sizes. I pick two and head to the counter.

Me: So these have different types of plug ins which ones would fit my phone?

(I even show him the phone and old plugs)

Dude#1: Oh, well for a phone you need to go to aisle B12.

Off I go to B12. Target Dude #2 in aisle B12 is more than eager to help.

Dude#2: Can I help you?

Me: Sure I’m looking for headphones.

Dude#2: Oh, those are in aisle B9.

Me: (eyeroll) I was just there and was told to come here. (show him phone and old plugs)

Dude#2: Either should do, I have and IPhone (TMI)

Me: Me, yeah, well I just want earphones for MY phone so I can listen to music.

Dude#2: (walking towards aisle B9 looking at my phone) Are you up for an upgrade?

Me: No not for another year.

Dude#2: Well you need to upgrade your phone

Me: Why, it works?

Dude#2: For music?

Me: Yep, I’m not rocking out but it plays just fine.

Dude#2: Well either of those should work.

Me: But they are different sizes! Look can I open them to see if they fit?

Dude#2: No.

Me: Then can I return them if they don’t fit?

Dude#2: Yes.

Me: Find then, bye.

I mean seriously. There is a science to earphones…but it ain’t rocket science. Oh, and an upgrade. Dude step off. My phone makes calls, texts, plays music and takes pictures. That’s more than enough. See the key word is phone; as long as I can call I’m good. I don’t need apps or maps or to check in on Facebook. If I need a map I got one in the glove box. I don’t need to let people know where I am on 4 square (or whatever it’s called), the people who need to know, know! If I’m having a great time I’ll call you and tell you to get there. It’s just a phone. Simple girl, simple phone, simple.

Oh by the way the earphone did not fit. Back to Target return.

Wikity Wikity Wikity Whack!

2010-12-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

Recently this Wikileaks thing has been all up in the news. In the last week or so there were some documents leaked that made me think how did that happen and I’m not surprised. For instance how did a 22 yr old Specialist get access to these super confidential records? From the news description he just ‘got in’ downloaded and burned a cd (all while claiming he was listening to Lady Gaga). Then off the information went to nonessential personnel.

As someone who has served in the military with classified clearance this just doesn’t add up. Somebody was not on the j-o-b. What kinda lax security do we have going on nowadays? Should a Specialist really have that type of access with no supervision? I think not people are crazy as it is. Some music cd’s you can’t even copy to your personal computer and then burn to a disk. But super confidential government information….sure why not.

The news and government officials are stating how the comments could have grave diplomatic consequences. Some of those ‘comments’ were just catty/snarky remarks that should be put in writing to begin with. Publishing it made it a kin to tabloidish gossip. This does not surprise me as I have always believed all those ‘officials’ from Obama on down are just people. Camera on, they say what everyone wants to hear, fake the funk. Camera off, they get real and dirty.

As for the Wikileaks dude Julian Assange, way to jump into the hot seat. Wikileaks stated that it would be releasing big bank information in January; my first thought was nice that they wait til after the holidays. My second thought was hope somebody doesn’t knock off that Julian dude before then. Then this morning the news is Julian Assange has been added to Interpols ‘most wanted red alert we’re coming for ya’ list. Dude I hope you got your ducks in order because it’s going down. Also I hope you gave a copy of that big bank info to someone else to release, because my interest is totally peaked now!

Seriously?

2010-11-30T13:48:00.000-08:00

Still can’t believe this……

woman-charged-for-performing-illegal-butt-boosting-injections

What is the matter with people? I don’t like going to a real doctor for actual pain. These nut cases were actually going to this ladies apartment! If they lock her up (hope not for her sake, she too purdy) they should lock her ‘clients’ up in the loony bin.

Chardonnay = Undefeated

2010-11-29T10:23:00.000-08:00

Long weekends are great….until they end. For the first time in months I came back from a long weekend not needing a vacation. I want one. For the most part I did pretty good, maintained my workout plan and didn’t stuff myself full of “thanks”. Spent thanksgiving night drinking Reisling and getting chatty/wrinkly in the hot tub with a girlfriend, so nice. I did put down quite a bit of the vino! Couldn’t help myself, I was celebrating and maintaining.

As for celebrating my bike friend Poodle had a surprise birthday party in the QC. PB&J drove and I tagged along. The party was fun, we arrived late, but we were a surprise! There also happened to be an open bar with nicely chilled Chardonnay. Poodle attempted graduating to the big girl drink of scotch and water…fail. After they poured her into the car headed for home, we headed for a local pub. Where I located even more chilled Chardonnay! CT let us crash at her place and filled us with yummy egg casserole for breakfast. Then it was off to…..wait for it….drink some wine! We met up with a recovering Poodle and other bike buddies at this nice little wine store. They let you bring in snacks (we had veggies, crackers, cheese and meat) while you taste their wines. It was a fun time, hangin out on comfy sofas, drinking and chatting.

As for maintaining, it seems whenever I start cresting the happy mountain the Gods start rolling down boulders. My new found ‘energy’ makes dodging easier, so far I’ve avoided getting crushed. Just kinda blows when you realize that the people who should be blocking for you are actually yanking at your heels. In the past I would have gotten angry/hurt and cried my eyes out under a mound of blankets. But lately I’ve rediscovered my resilient side, I got this.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Really, no not really

2010-11-23T13:32:00.001-08:00

Ahhhhh…um….yep totally drawing a blank. Ok some thoughts…

-This whole Charlie Sheen mess, wtf? Capri Anderson (the porn star that locked herself in the bathroom) really girl, really…. you went to his hotel room (alone) and now you’re cryin scared and wanting to sue, really? ABC news you should be ashamed of yourselves giving this skank air time, really?

-If Bristol Palin wins DWTS I’m gonna shot my tv too, really. Has she gotten better over the weeks, yes (not hard when sucked to begin with). Better than Jennifer Gray (Brandi and the Hills girl) no flippin way. One lady actually said she liked Bristol because ‘it’s harder for her since she is not in entertainment like the others’? Um, hello? Dancing with the STARS!!?? Bristol is not in entertainment and not a star, really people?

-Why does the media keep saying how tough it will be for Kate Middleton? So people follow you around and take your picture….you poor thing. To ease your pain you get to marry a cute prince (well except for that hairline), wealth, comfort, luxury world trips, a staff, nary a care, and all the finest freaking fashions eva! It’s gonna be tough, really?

Heck, I need a drinky. Four Loko anyone….oh yea, nevermind. Redbull Vodka we still have you, come to mama!

Wid alla of my stuff

2010-11-22T12:04:00.000-08:00

So a couple of weeks ago The Man and I had an um…disagreement. Since then we have not talked. Just like two very short text messages. I knew he was not happy with my um…. behavior, but I still think I was right. I might have handled the situation better. But I was getting my drink on and not thinking clearly…yea blaming it on the booze. After almost 3 weeks of radio silence we finally talked today. Turns out, or at least this is what we agreed on; that a summer of partying like rock stars kinda drained us both. Too much togetherness is just too much. You know the whole ‘I can’t miss you if you are here all the time’ deal. So as the stars say we both needed some rehab time…. you know for exhaustion.

I suppose this is why I should not live in an always-toasty climate region. When it is warm out you just feel like you need to be ‘out there’. It becomes hard to turn down invites and you just go, go, go. Now is time for winter hibernation, time to slow it down a couple notches.

Just this short hiatus has given me a new sense of clarity. I don’t want to revert back to how I used to be with guys. Like Loretta Divine’s character ‘Somebody almost walked off wid alla of my stuff’. We are getting together for Thanksgiving. Yeah. I am thankful this didn’t turn into an all out war (it would have back in the day). I guess we are growing up. Yeah, me!

Where does it hurt?

2010-11-19T13:12:00.000-08:00

Well, it turns out this pain in my neck, really is a pain. The pain is now travelling down my arm. Aw. I got all of two hours of sleep last night because I just couldn’t sleep through the sharp pains. Went to work looking like a before and after. See my I can’t seem to lift my right arm, so brushing my hair and putting on makeup, well I look like a hot mess. But I’m here; sleep deprived, sharp pains and all!

Anywho, caved and went to the doctor this morning, they think it maybe a pinched nerve, so he loaded me up with drugs. So I’m a ~~sleep~~ walking Valley of the Dolls. Every three to four hours I am poppin something. I could’ve gone home but the pills haven’t kicked in yet so I might as well sit in pain at work. In two hours they should working on full blast and I am gonna crash like a jumbo jet……..for the entire weekend. Yep, no standin in cold tailgating, no Cranksgiving, and no Jolly Holiday Lights (sad face).

Hopefully by Monday I will be able to face three 14-hour days plus working out. (yea, I’m totally skipping my workout today)

In other news, I have decided to take steps in dealing with my anxiety too. Time to nip my irrational behavior in the bud. That is before I end up like a well-tanned Britt Spears taking an umbrella (ella ella) to inanimate objects. Yeaa….it’s been like that, but I’m workin on it………

The simple life

2010-11-18T08:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was roller coaster type of a day. I admit it mostly my own fault. I tend to take good things to the highest high and lows to the lowest low. I should probably be on medication, but like my drugs recreationally thanks. This is something I must work through myself, and I’m trying.

Due to a lot of my experiences, I know what it is that I need, what it is that I want, and where it is that I need to be in order for me to consider myself in a happy place. There are things that change. For a lot of people that happy place changes for me not so much as I am a simple girl. But of course, it isn’t always that simple.

Not simple mostly because there are a lot of outside of me forces. The major forces at work include:

Family- The level of guilt they place on me is crushing. There is a reason behind my living 12 hours away and why I haven’t been home in 2 years. I just need them to be there and I want them to not dump on me or stress me out. My true calling was to be an orphan…… that would be simpler.

Gentlemen friends- Women maybe crazy, but men suck. I don’t like the term boyfriend. I am a grown ass woman, not sixteen. Why can’t two adults agree that to hang out together and have sleepovers. Treat each other with respect, neither party is obligated to call numerous times a week. Gifts are only for when you want not because of some silly holiday. When it’s not fun anymore, say so and move on. See no breakup…..that would be simpler. I want my guy to be there for me, I need him to not try and be my dad, advisor, social secretary or annoyance.

Friends- I adore my friends. But I’ve found friends don’t always have your best interest at heart. They mean no harm but they want you in a ‘place’ that is comfortable for them. If only they could accept that my goals in life aren’t traditional. Therefore I don’t need help getting where you think I supposed to be going. Let’s just be friends…….that would be simpler.

Work-When did work become such a joke. What ever happened to somebody being in charge, telling people what to do and them doing, done. No there are committees and useless meeting. Some days it’s life living in bizzaro land. I need to win the lottery…..that would be simpler. I need to have a job, I want to not be forced to place get to know you games.

So if you’re following me it is quite simple. I need a guy who is down, friends who are cool, a job where I actually work, and a family that doesn’t drive me to self medicate.

Gloom

2010-11-17T13:58:00.000-08:00

These cloudy cold November days are taking a toll on me. I've started back at my part time winter job, it's easier than last year but I will be glad when I get my own passwords/desk. Is it weird that I just want to go to work put my ear phones in and work? I guess so because everybody else wants to socialize, play games and have pizza/treat parties.

I'm supposed to be trying to be positive......but this week I feel like I'm suffocating.

Home sweet Home

2010-11-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

For the first time in months I stayed home this past weekend. Well, at least in town. I went out for a bit on Friday, it was chilly and rainy and I wanted to stay home. But it was really good to see some fun people I hadn’t seen in a while.

Got home early enough to get some real sleep and actually go do a serious workout. Um, yea my legs have been sore every since. But I will be going tonight. I’m on a mission…hello.

Went to see the Cyclones get creamed at a bar in WDM, the company was good the game not so much. Not looking good for a bowl game. Oh well, I still would really prefer to go skiing, so no biggy.

Oh almost forgot went and looked a pretty cute apartment on Sherman Hill. It was tiny but had tons of storage a closet big enough for all my bikes! I’m really eager to mover for all the great things that come with having your own space. But I also and not excited about moving all my crap. (Unfortunately, said cute apartment is on the third floor with no elevator.) Guess well just have to see…….

Laughs and Lists

2010-11-12T10:58:00.000-08:00

I must say I do love lists, top ten, whatever. But I came across this one today and just laughed out loud so I had to share! Especially since I just had a conversation with a lady last night was just devasted that she would be turning 40 soon. (Join the club sister 40 is the new 30!) I wish I had replied with something like this:

If a naturally occurring, chronological determinate date, over which you have absolutely no control, is the marker by which you assess your current life state, you need to get another fucking life. Like, ASAP. --the fooler initiative-

But alas, I am not that quick or witty. Some people just have a way with words. So here is the link to the post that just cracked my up! Enjoy....it's long but so worth it!

http://metroadlib.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/my-super-duper-unapologetically-long-manifesto-or-yes-im-30-whooptee-fuckin-doo/

My personal favorites:

#3 "Wait.a.minute. I just stopped giving a damn. I’m gonna go.”

#9 “single and ready to roll dolo because I ain’t got no muthafuckin kids, what what!!! Hootie hoo, my dude!!”

Turkey Chill Pill

2010-11-11T08:32:00.000-08:00

Two weeks til Thanksgiving. I have always liked Thanksgiving. The food and all the people getting together be it family or friends, it’s just comforting. It’s ten times better than Christmas because there is no pressure of all the gift giving. About six years ago I made my first turkey and it was awesome.

What I don’t understand is how people get all stressed about Thanksgiving dinner. It really is not that big a deal. No matter how many times sit-coms and movies show people burning or serving a frozen turkey, it ain’t that complicated. Now they have downloadable Thanksgiving checklist, tv shows and local news covering how to cook a turkey. And let’s not forget the Butterball hotline.

Back in the day maybe it was a big deal, but now a days if you can’t manage a Thanksgiving dinner you’ve got serious issues or you are a complete moron. Dressing and mash potatoes now come in a box, cranberry sauce, green beans and pumpkin pie come in a can, and turkeys have built in pop up timers.

Thanksgiving should be simple and fun like those turkey’s you made by tracing your hand. I hope you can relax and enjoy yours……I will, as soon as I finish this construction paper pilgrim hat!

For Colored Girls...Make Your Own Rainbow

2010-11-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

First off thank goodness for Redbox, Netflix and every other service that makes it possible to watch movies from the comfort of my own home. I rushed over to the movie theatre hurrying to catch the 4 o’clock show. The previews were going by the time I got to my seat, there were also only 4 other people in there, two older ladies in front of me and two black guys behind me. The theatre got dark and the feature music started……………….but no movie. Um, yea the sound and no visuals!

10 minutes later the movie (with sound and visuals) started, after one of the ladies and one of the guys went to get someone.

On to the movie. For Colored Girls. I thought it was ok. It wasn’t terrible…it was simply ok. There were a few awkward moments where poetry sometimes came out of nowhere, poems from the play from the play no less, but odd. I've never seen the play so can't compare there. People have said that the film was emotionally draining; I just thought it was uncomfortable at times.

A recurring thought for me was why none of the women seemed to take responsibility for the lives. Other comments I’ve heard referred to this movie as male bashing. I didn’t get that. Because even though the men were awful the women all just put up with their crappy behavior. I’ve just never believed to be a strong woman you need five of your girls holding you up.

When I left the theatre yesterday I had more of an appreciation for my life and the strength I possess. The monumental issues I have dealt with throughout my life have been tragic, sad, and devastating…but I dealt with them. What I didn’t do was let them grind me into the ground or let them render me helpless.

It just seems to me, if your (husband, boyfriend, whatever) is cheating, lying, beating, manipulating, stealing from, or using you. Leave, move on, get out. When Janet Jackson’s character said the line ” I loved you on purpose, I opened my heart to you on purpose”….I felt that DEEPLY. But I also would have added; “Now I’m leaving you on purpose, BYE.”

I have always been a believed that people are responsible for their own happiness, and the film reminded me of that. You are where you are because you are. If you want to be somewhere different, go. It ain’t easy, but if you keep waiting for support from your girls or your man, you’ll never get there.

PS. Thadie Newton was awesome! I loved the “is it ticking” comment when her mom brought her the gift.

Being colored is a metaphysical dilemma

2010-11-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

Going to see Tyler Perry's For Colored Girls movie right after work. I haven't been to the actual movie theater in like for-ever! I've heard all kinds of hype about the movie, good and bad. Personally I am not a big fan. I have watched pretty much all of his movies and they to all crash and burn by the end I'm always thinking 'that was a waste'. Just got around to watching Why did I Get Married Too, that was the absolute worst. The first in that series was painful but at least entertaining.

I love me some Thadie Newton, she is so pretty and a great actress, so how bad can it be with her it. I'll let ya know!

Case of the Monday

2010-11-08T13:16:00.001-08:00

Left the house this morning thinking yes, I got this. I had my workout clothes packed for later, grabbed some healthy lunch and I was leaving the house on time! Then for some crazy reason I decided ‘ hey it’s garbage day, think I’ll drag it to the curb’. I haven’t taken out the garbage for the like a month. I was feeling so ahead of the game I ran back upstairs to grab some stuff for the recycling bin. Backed out the drive and slightly bumped recycling bin. But hey, no biggie, the sun is shining and I’m about to get to work ON TIME, then have a nice cup of tea, yeah!

That’s when the Monday mayhem began. I get to my desk and realize. Hmmm….where is my laptop? Back out to the car….not there. Crap! I left it at home…I guess, I hope….awww! Hope in the car drive back home. There it is just sitting there, great…now I am late, really. I am not even going into the shenanigans that have been plaguing me at work. So at lunch I decide I need a break, hop in the car for a quick run to HyVee for some cottage cheese. Beautiful day out, I’m loving it. Um, oh yea, some how I left the lights on (why the heck did I turn on headlights). Car is barely turning over. For the love of ……

That’s it I just want to go home and crawl under the bed.

Unavailable

2010-11-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

Went to Ames last weekend, I know shocker. I think I have been there every weekend for the last month or two. Part of me doesn’t think that is a good thing. At least I stayed in town Friday night, had sushi with the girls. Tried to go out but I just didn’t have it in me. Saturday went up for the Nebraska game. First problem, I got myself over excited about how fun it was gonna be. (I should know better.)

Short story…everybody(even mystery people) got what they wanted….oh except for me. Hmmmmm. That upset me and led to heavy drinking. Which led to me and the Man getting into a little tiff. (I was right by the way) Oh and yes, I am still ticked. Trying desperately not do anything out of spite.

I’m beginning to think I have just been too available. I have really got to go apartment hunting……I need a place to hide out for a while.

Housewife Trainwreck

2010-11-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

When it comes to television one of my guilty pleasures it the Real Housewives series. Not a big fan of the New Jersey one, it’s just too much silly family drama. Orange County wives are really losing steam maybe because they were first and all. New York may be a dud when it comes back without Bethenny (wish I had her quick wit). It will be all up to crazy eyed Ramona to keep me watching.

Atlanta, well, they are just too much. Nene reminds be of my sister, she is just hilarious. Sheree and her dating skills (or lack there of) remind of another sister of mine. The new chick Phedra is just too delusional for words. If you are not watching this you are missing out on some true comedy.

The DC housewives have got to be the lamest of all the series. They all seem like they were putting up a front for the cameras. Even their friends seemed fake or staged. Cat got a raw deal being tossed in with that bunch.

I’ve only just started catching up on the Beverly Hills group. While I really like Lisa (she is the only one who seems to have common sense) I am not sure I can watch a whole season of this hoohay. Seriously $50,000 on a 4 year olds birthday, even the more subdued 2 year olds party priced at $12,000 was hard to even watch. How do you sleep at night after that? And Camille really 4 nannies, a house manger, driver, and chef, really what the heck are you stressing?

Like I said if you get a chance to check out this circus….do it, gotta love Bravo.

Top 4 Housewives I would luv to hang with or my Housewife Dream Team

Nene Leakes

Bethenny Frankel

Lisa Vanderpump

Cat Ommanney

Take this mal trabajo and shove it

2010-11-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

So today I am highly annoyed. I hated when things don’t work, especially the basic things. Where I’m employed, nothing ever works. It’s just ridiculous. Everybody is always jabbering about technology and wikis and crap. I’m hello my computer won’t even connect to the stupid printer. Oh that letter that needs to go in the mail…today…um yea…..need to print it before I can mail. Call the tech people, they can help! Ok, great idea……..wait for it……call goes to voice mail! Sweet baby Jesus give me the strength! Now would be a good time for one of the dorky survey’s asking ‘do you have everything you need to perform your job?’ Um….yea….NO!

List day

2010-11-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

Things I've learned.....

–that you will always be thankful that you washed your face before going to bed.

–no one knows the size of your pants. Better to go up a size than look like a stuffed sausage because of your own vanity.

–sometimes it is better to remain silent even when every ounce of you wants to speak up.

–friendships end. It is a heartbreak just as big as a breakup. It is normal, but doesn’t make it any less painful.

–living alone is one of life’s divine indulgences.

–men are like boomerangs. They always find their way back to you.

–you wear your face and your hair every day. Treat them right.

–that I am still learning every day.

(197)

Who you gonna call?

2010-11-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

The Great Pumpkin Ride was again a super fun time. It’s a fun weekend ride on the Root River Trail. We stayed in Preston and I successfully made it to Lanesboro, the Barn, the bon fire and back to Preston! The trail is such a nice trail plus the weather pretty great, only got chilly because we were still out on the trail at 3 am both nights. The first night we rode single bikes, I went as Wenda…..Waldo’s girlfriend.

Then Saturday after a long morning/afternoon of recuperation we rode the, awesomely decorated, quad and went as the Ghostbusters featuring the Stay Puft. It is always tricky coming up with a costume that you can still ride your bike in.

So wrapped up October with a bang…again! Now it is getting cold out….time to head back to the gym.

November blog everyday!

2010-11-01T13:27:00.001-07:00

I sort of promised myself that I'd ~~try to~~ blog every day, regardless of how I am feeling or how blocked I am. Kinda like the bike everyday deal that happened in September. I think I have to write every day to discover things to write about. I’ve never been a great writer. But I’ll give it my best shot. Only 29 days to go….

October....it's been a ride.

2010-10-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

So, hi. And stuff. I know, I’m not here much lately. But it’s been a crazy busy birthday month. There has been football tailgating on the Quad, of course. What and awesome way to tailgate, everything is so spread out you really need wheels to get around and see all your peeps! We have some awesome friends who throw even awsomer (yea, I made that up) tailgate parties. Great ribs from the Corning Crew, dancing and strong drinks with Team Nad, and Quad rides all over Ames!

Then there was a trip to the drive in, yes the drive in. Gosh I haven’t been there in like forever. The ‘family’ went to celebrate Catt’s birthday. In traditional Quad bike fashion we arrived in Newton fashionably late, well with the drive and the unloading/loading, geez. Actually the gate was closed when we got there so we had to sort of sneak in. Watched Wall Street 2.0 while sipping on our new staple Jeremiah Weed. The manager came over as we were loading up the bike. Good thing we were late because she wasn’t sure if we were allowed. Catt saved the evening by throwing money at her! Good times.

For my birthday week I got a small crew together for dinner at the Olive Gardens. Love that unlimited salad and breadsticks! Was so incredibly tired on my birthday that we got two bottles of wine the movie Losers and stayed in on the futon. That was nice and much needed, since the next morning we headed to the Quad Cities to get in some miles and fun. Got to ride the Hennepin Canal Trail 30 miles (by my calculations). That was an adventure as the access points kept getting smaller so we had to dismantle and squeeze the bike through a couple of parts.

On Saturday we donned our lederhosen and dirndl’s for Blondtoberfest. Rode up along the Mississippi River stopping (first for tire repairs) then at Bad Boys. There was a fun gathering at a park while we waited for the next bar to open. Then a great time at the Captains Table, til well after the sun went down. I was so surprised they didn’t kick us out or call the cops as our party spilled out in to the parking lot! I will be doing that ride again.

Then there was the super music weekend. Friday, Tim hosted Martin Zeller of the Geardaddies ‘unplugged’. Great food, great music, great friends to enjoy it with. Saturday we threw on some costume stuff and pedaled the Quad to downtown Ames for WookieFoot what and experience that was. I am a new fan.

So October Birthday Month is coming to a close but not until after the Great Pumpkin Ride! I finally settled on a Where’s Waldo costume for Friday night and we have a super group costume for the Quad Saturday night. This year I have just two goals; make it to Lanesboro and to the Serviceman’s Club! You’d think that wouldn’t be a problem…….

Doing your own thang

2010-09-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

In my quest to waste as much time as possible reading blogs I stumbled upon this wonderful site http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/. What a joy, good writing, relevant topics…check it out. The latest installment 8 Relationship Books That Need To Be Published Instead of Steve Harvey’s New Book was not only Hilarious but made me want to stop lurking and comment on title #5.

5. “Hands In The Cookie Jar: A Four-Step Guide To Understanding Why Some Women Only Date Married Men”

See the writer thinks that there are there “legions of single men out there who’ll happily grant women the option to do their own thing without worrying about being tied down”. This is so not true. Now before I go any further, just for clarification I am totally & utterly against women dating married men, under any circumstance. If he can’t slide a copy of the divorce decree at you, step away. Separated means still married no if ands or buts. But I digress….

Where was I going with this?…oh yes, men that will let you ‘do your own thing’ while in a relationship with them are RARE. Or at least few and far between. I am currently in a relationship with a lovely (non married) gentleman friend who let’s me ‘do my own thing’. Actually the relationship I was in prior to this was the same arrangement. Mind you I’ve had to deal with a lot of crappy, self center, possessive, controlling, jealous….dudes to get to this point.

Since my divorce I have been all about being in a relationship not dating. The way I see it when you are dating there are a ton of expectations, bah. Then when it’s over you are ‘broken up’. If you are in a relationship, you act like grown ups, you enjoy time with each not monopolize each other’s time. Best of all when it’s over, it’s just over.

Just recently a girl was all ‘OMG you went out for drinks with your ex?’ Um, yea, see we were in a relationship, so there was no break up, nothing was broken, we are still friends. When we were done it was done, no argument, or mean texts. Heck two weeks ago I spent and entire weekend camping and hanging out with both my ex and my current dude. We all had a swell time.

Don’t get me wrong this is a tricky situation. Not everyone can handle being in the grown up type relationship I just described. All parties need to have a certain amount of maturity, confidence and self-esteem. All three of those qualities are quite the turn on for me, toss in a dose of letting me do my own thing……..well that’s how you keep e happy!

Not big enough

2010-09-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

The hunt for flattering gym wear is never-ending, I repeat never-ending. I always see people in pictures on Active.com they look so comfortable in their workout gear. It’s as if they are truly enjoying their workout, even in the cold or rain. I have not yet been able to get myself to that point.

I believed, foolishly that when there was talk of a Jackie Warner line of workout gear it would be suitable for the likes of me. Nope. See Jackie says that she too once had a problem with weight (what?). Yeah, well it seems people who used to have weight issues quickly forget what the ‘journey’ was like. Even Jennifer Hudson with her new Weight Watchers commercials, I Can, I Can, I Can. I just want to know how much of that I Can was Weight Watchers and how much was the personal trainer.

Yes, I always get wound up like this when the new season of Biggest Loser starts. That show gets more annoying every season. The crying, OMG the crying. Then there is the super sad story of every over weight contestant, everybody’s got one (an excuse) it’s worse than the Olympics. Then like every contestant is not just over weight, but extremely over weight. Jillian and Bob act like they care about the health of America, but the real reality is that they have a whole season to fill and supplements/meal plans to sell. So those of you with only 30 to 50 pounds to lose screw you.

Is it just me or does it seem a lot like our economy. If you are bankrupt or in foreclosure, we’ll bail you out. If, however, juggling a couple of credits card barely making ends meet, you’re on your own!

Impending Birthday

2010-09-07T09:07:00.001-07:00

Labor Day weekend included a very short bike ride, a pool party, and a canoe trip, all enhanced by drinking and good company. The canoe trip was the best part, it was epic. Just getting in the water. But I swear I have never laughed so hard. Him and I were on a floatation device he built while Smiley and Gook (aww, young lust) were on a canoe. If I had a daughter I won’t mind one bit if she was like Smiley, that kid is a pleasure to be around.

I like my ‘different’ relationship with Him, most days. We have spent a lot of time together over the summer. However, in all these months we have not actually been on a date. There is always an event (usually epic) and other people. I guess, I just miss having a guy pick me up, take me out for a nice dinner and a movie type evening. You know a date, where I’m not sweating after a bike ride, trying to reapply makeup in a bus mirror, or sharing sleeping space in hotel, tent, bus, and/or campground.

A big part of my concern is my upcoming birthday celebration. To be completely honest I would love to just have really nice dinner, movie then enjoy some drinks/laughs with friends. And everyone would play along with my ‘I’m so great, I’m so special whohaa.’ Unfortunately I don’t see that happening. Now it looks like I will be in the midst of ……..wait for it………a bike ride with 30+ other people (by other, I mean people I hardly know but they know me). Don’t get me wrong, clearly I enjoy biking/drinking/partying; but I fear my fabulousness will be lost in the melee.

Certainly I should be used to this by now. In 40 years I have never had a birthday…my way. Never. It has always been hijacked. For instance:

-my sister got married 2 days before my birthday (yep everyone forgot)

-planned trip to S Dakota, that ex switched for Vegas

-when I was 14 I planned a house party, no body came (still scarred from that)

You get the idea. For a while I was going back out of the bike ride, but then Smiley asked me to go. She is pumped about it. But of course she is half my age. Nevertheless, I’m going, I hope I don’t regret this.

The power of words…

2010-08-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

Perfect example why I don’t trust the po-po.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20100826/NryEWS01/8260357/Des-Moines-police-say-they-can-t-confirm-race-was-factor-in-fights-near-fairgrounds

On Monday they had their little police lady all over the news blabing (paraphrasing) “there were black males and black females attacking white fair goers, so it’s very possible this was racially motivated”. We also have an off duty officer reporting that he heard it was ‘get whitey night’.

Now four days later their whole story has changed to "We don't want to jump to conclusions”. They have decided to ‘investigate’! Hello, shouldn’t you have investigated before you throw all this crap out there. Not just locally but nationally. Please don’t shoot me first and then investigate! Seriously you reported information that was unsubstantiated and had been misinterpreted. Now you have the Aryan nation group thinking they need to get to Des Moines to save the white. Oh, Dear Lord!

The media should really take a second look at its reporting practices. They too are guilty of reporting without checking facts. Makes me question their intentions as they recently reported on racial incidents that took place at local postal office. People who actually work at the postal office have stated that the report was blown way out of proportion.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” –Proverbs 18:21

Beautiful Day

2010-08-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day.

Rode the Fat Tire to work, it was cool and nice. Work, well work was...work. Then in the middle of the afternoon he sent me a text the just said "Miss U". Awesome! All of a sudden I have plans for the weekend...camping with some cool people. Looking forward to it! But first I'm biking to work again tomorrow, yea! Then some late biking hopefully catch a sunset, maybe some wine and night sleeping with the window open! Enjoy this weather people! I'm gonna!

Take this job and.....

2010-08-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

I need a new job, seriously. Don’t get me wrong; I like what I do. But the system I have to work within is seriously flawed. Plus the people, oh the people. Let me tell you, you haven’t worked til you’ve worked in an office that is ninety percent women. Oh and if at 40 you are considered young amongst your coworkers….sweet baby Jesus. Speaking of babies I was in a meeting and I swear everyone’s “fun summer thing” included babysitting or having a grandchild. Sorry I can’t identify….oh wait I personally needed a babysitter on Ragbrai that one day. And my bottle of Chardonnay is about the size of a small baby!

See this is why I try not to talk about work. Oh boy the stories I could tell you about the bat shit crazy stuff I go through on a daily basis. It’s like working in the twilight zone. An actual statement from a meeting “They are not gonna need form B, but form B is a required form. So they’re gonna need that? Yes.” (“Um, what?”)

More wacky women workplace stuff. They choose to explain in-depth things that we have been doing for years. Things that are new or recently changed, yea you’re on your own, check the manual! Oh, then we were working with a new program, of course everybody but me, logged in fine. Three people felt a need to come ‘help’ me. Like if they clicked OK it would some how miraculously work. Nope still not working why, because THEY spelled my name wrong in the setup.

So time to get familiar with career builder.

Dear God- please let me find a job with reasonable pay, something I enjoy and MEN (preferably young/single). That's all thanks!

edit: Just witnessed some awesome passive aggressive behavior amongst my coworkers, awesome!

Don't Drag Me Down

2010-08-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

Usually I try to think the best of people. That generally everyone has something good about him or her and they want well for me. As of late I have been questioning that thought process. If it weren’t for a few people who never cease to amaze me with their generosity, kindness and overall cheery demeanor, I would retreat back to my trust no one state of mind.

For instance, oh yea I have examples, I currently live with a roommate. I made the mistake of mentioning to some people that I had checked out some apartments. Instead of responses like cool, awesome or heck total indifference would be fine. But no, I get:
“not working out with the roommate, huh?”
“does you roommate know you are looking?”
“have you told her your moving/leaving?”

Maybe I’m just over sensitive but um, what? Why does it have to not working out for me to want to move? When I moved in a year ago I hardly believe she thought I would be staying like…forever. Moreover do you even know me? In 17 years I moved 15 times! Moving is what I do. Most of all I’m a grown up, I won’t be moving out under the cover of darkness, that’s not how I roll. Trust me I will be telling my roommate when and where I’m moving to probably before I tell you, now.

Yea, maybe I’m over sensitive… or not.

So I had these two friends (or so I thought) we used to roll together A LOT! Then…..nothing. No more calling, invites, visits, nothing. To be fair I did decide to try something new….but ah, shouldn’t your ‘friends’ be happy for you when you broaden your horizons so to speak? I read that people don’t like when you change because it means they may have to change. People don’t like change. Well that is what I hope it is. Otherwise they liked me a whole lot when I was down and dependent, now that I am standing independently they aren’t so interested.

Luckily I’m a tough cookie, with a few Aces up my sleeve and a couple of cheerleaders in my corner. So while I may not go back to my ‘trust no one’ way of life. I am not beyond cutting the dead weight trying to drag me down. If I get hurt a little in the process, that’s ok, I’ll recover……again.

Totally recall

2010-08-16T13:55:00.001-07:00

My mind is in a fog today. See how is it that you can be so smitten by someone and yet they drive you so totally crazy. I mean really I am getting too old for this. There are so many things that I need to do and so many that I can’t afford to do. Just to make things more twisted I toss my heart in the ring for a few rounds. Seriously I am just a bit stressed and having a case of the Mondays. It is quite easy to slip into a slump after a weekend of biking, drinking and making bad decisions.

Now I am going to go workout, sorta. I got another call from Fittness World asking me to come check out the facilities. ??? Yea, I totally ‘checked ‘ out the facilities about a month ago. But ok, whatev, if the want to toss me another month free pass that would be sweet. Just have to get pass the perky girl trying to sell me on a personal trainer. Hopefully a good sweat will clear my head.

Oh, I would tell about the weekend but……well let’s just say there were unforgettable moments, moments I can’t recall, and a moment I would like never to happen again. All and all I look back and smile so not a wash.

I-O-way!

2010-08-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

We're from I-O-way, I-O-way. State of all the land
Joy on ev-'ry hand. We're from I-O-way, I-O-way.
That's where the tall corn grows

Another first for me! I was in the Iowa State Fair Parade last night! And yes it was hotter than freakin blazes. Personally I think Pedalmania was a big hit. No surprise the Quad made it, with many a detour around submerged Ames. I would totally post a picture but my piece of crap camera did not want to work.

On another note, I have to get used to the fact that I can’t party like a rock star on a school night (well at least not when I have a early morning meeting)! Nevertheless I am so skipping the Fair this year. The parade was more than enough. Been there done that. Besides it’s to dang hot.

These trips around the sun are adding up

2010-08-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

In about 10 weeks I will be 40. Hmmm. Thanks to my nubian genes I don't look or feel 40. But honestly this is not at all where I thought I'd be in life at this age. So in the weeks ahead I am planning on making some changes.

I thought about going away for my birthday, but honestly I don't have the funds to travel like I want to so why half a** it. Then I thought about throwing a party but I don't want to stress myself out hoping other people have fun on my birthday. So I've decided to do something I've been thinking about for a while. Something that is all about me. Me looking good and feeling good. All about me. But um yea I'm keeping it on the down low for now.

Now for this to all work out I have to really focus for the next month and a half. I'm talking working it out, do healthy stuff, saving up and putting me ahead of others. Yea, this shit won't be easy.

So in the next weeks I will be getting reacquainted with my Wii Fit (cause it's just to dang hot outside, unless I can get my lazy bum out in the early morn, yea right) and resuming a mad beauty regime (breakin out all the creams, masks, toners oh and yes the coco vaseline). I will be saying 'gee that sounds fun but no I can't go, thanks' more often, let's face it the money ain't gonna save it's self.

I'm looking for an apartment, you know affordable, cute and safe. Oh and a job. I fantasize daily about grabbing a beer and pulling the emergency chute on my current situation. Now if I can get all this craziness to come together by October 14th I'd be on happy chocolate girl.

Back to the Grind

2010-08-09T18:39:00.001-07:00

Can’t believe I have to go back to work already. That was the fastest summer ever. But it was full of fun new experiences and meeting some cool people. The catalyst to most of my summer fun actually slipped back in to my world last winter. We spent my last weekend together just having some fun on the road. Went to a nice retirement party in Maysville. I got all tipsy and totally obsessed on the fact that we were camping next to a cemetery in a town that used to be named Amity(ville). In the end it was a great night and no one was killed horror movie style.

Spent Sunday Funday just slow creeping back to central Iowa. Spent the afternoon at the Coralville Lake. Can’t believe I’ve never been there. I actually slipped into my skirted bikini and hopped in the water! Grilled some great meat, made smores and enjoyed a nice afternoon of chatting and hanging. But that has always been a part of the attraction how comfortable it is to be around him. So far this has been a great ‘non relationship’ Now let’s see if I can balance all this fun time and work.

The end is near....

2010-08-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

Well my summer is about over. I have go back to work next week, I will totally miss sleeping in and hanging out. Overall the summer was pretty darn nice. I liked to refer to it as my 'spontaneously planned' summer. Trying to be spontaneous while not totally smashing my comfort zone.

This was my 10th Ragbrai and I managed to do all 10 days (3 days bagging out). The ride out was amazingly fun! Had a great group of Toe Rings to ride with, laughed one day so much I had stomach cramps! I've come to enjoy the ride out more than Ragbrai. It's just not overwhelming, I enjoy the riding with only an implied destination. The miles just flew by!

One of the best nights was the ride from Pomeroy to Pocohantas, night riding, road stops capped off with an awesome dance off in Pochy! Then Ragbrai hit....it was fun seeing everyone, but the crush of people always throws me off. Managed to stay with the BOP (back of the pack) until Clear Lake when I lost my mind, helmet, wallet and cute skirt, in that order. Then slept in a small lake aka my tent. At that point I was ready to an extraction and go home. I sagged to Charles City for a ride home...failed. Was packed and ready to go home the next day....but then I saw everyone having fun and getting ready to ride so I decided to stay.

With the help of some good friends and borrowed tools I managed to keep riding. I spent two days with Team Diego (what a riot) they are fun and ride about my pace. It makes a big difference riding with people who are on your same fun wave length! Chardonnay Day II started as we left Cedar Falls. Note to self drink more Chardonnay on bike rides it makes for a much happier me!

Friday was a super fun drinking day....I ended up sagging into Manchester on the Team Duct Tape bus...things get blurry after that. Finally found the Lower Beaver bus around 4am and slept curled up on a bus seat. The next day I was none too excited about racing to the river. So I decided to sag...we stopped at the gas station on the way out of town and guess who I run into? Catt. I hadn't seen him all week. I happen to be wearing all my Quad Squad gear (fate?) so me being spontaneous I hoped off the bus and onto the Quad.

Admittedly I feared those hills especially riding the Quad. However with a great crew it was an amazing ride! For the first time I truly enjoyed the ride to the river. Our party train was such fun the Junction 21 bar asked us to stay over night..six miles from the end..really? After numerous stops on the flatter (ha) off route we finally made it to Dubuque about 1am. Then we partied like rock stars at the river til 5am. What a great way to end my 10th trek across the state!

Friday

Summer Vaca

2010-06-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

Two weeks into summer break and I feel like I need to "get away". I have been on the move since I left the office! I've been to Independence, Grinnel and now I am on my way to Wisconsin! Been running around with C constantly and he never stops moving. I thought this would be a non bike weekend as we are headed to Jimmy Buffet....but no looks like we will be riding on Sunday. Not that that is a bad thing..I can always use the miles. Heck I got back into the Wi Fit and even though it has been 86 days since I've done it I was down 9 pounds! Awesome....still not anywhere I need to be but it is something.

Full Bar

2010-06-11T08:17:00.001-07:00

I just read an article that talked about sex addicts. Can I just say I am so over this. What a load of baloney. The only people who use this line are people trying to cover up their lying/cheating ways. It’s always someone who just got busted, now they need to seek counseling for the addiction.

Think of it this way. If you are a lover of alcohol and have a stocked bar at home, then drink at home. If you are a lover of alcohol but you go out to the bar constantly then drive drunk home you are an idiot, that is sooner or later gonna get cuffed for it. Now once you get thrown in the slammer don’t out the “I’m an alcoholic, go easy on me I’ll get treatment.”

Likewise if you have wife at home ‘stocked bar’ but are constantly out hooking up with other women ‘bars’ you will eventually get caught. Seriously don’t stock the bar at home if your going out to drink other peoples booze. You will get no sympathy from this girly.

love this.......

2010-05-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

Favorite blog quote of the day....

Marriage, and indeed, serious relationships, are a marathon, not a sprint.
They are absolutely and unequivocally a marathon.
And know what?
I.don’t.like.to.run.
Don’t you want to walk for a bit?
There’s no shame in a brisk walk.

Zip it

2010-05-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Why do people feel the need to continually talk? Shut up. Agh. With all the coming renovations in our office I have had to move from my semi secluded cube out into the 'hotel' area. Basically the place for people who work at home or whatever and need a temporary spot when in office. This 'hotel' is now my temporary spot for a undisclosed amount of time.

The thing is when you have people sitting within feet of you with no wall separator people seem compelled to talk. People are walking through....talking....stopping to...talk..talking on the phone...talk, talk, talk! Personally I hate small talk and blanket commentary. 'how are you doing?' 'oh it's too nice to be inside today.' Come on people just zip it, the noise pollution is out of control.

Now where are my headphones.............

Oh the webs I weave....

2010-05-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

So the Derby Rocked, even though I look slightly pissed in each and every photo. Actually the Oaks races on Friday were the absolute best part. For one is was sunny and warm also I was really hyped, intoxicated and possibly stoned. It's kinda all a fog (a good fog) thank goodness for cameras.

On another note as I was packing for the Derby I got a call to come in for an interview! Hmmmm. So being the crazy woman that I am I agreed to get interview after a four day Derby bender, the Pearl Jam 22 hour super concert trip and two hours of sleep. Ya, guess who got a call back for a second interview!!? I know what? Do I want this job? Yes, no, maybe, possibly......agh....it would be a major change in my life. Trying not to think about it and concentrate on the good things about where I am now. Because no sooner than I get excited I will be blown out of the water, guaranteed. In other words I am waiting on pins and needles for them to call.

This Sunday is the Duathlon! OMG.....I've thought about not doing it, hiding, I am so not prepared and that is an understatement. I did a 5k last weekend and about died, seriously. My worst nightmare is coming in not only last but AFTER the awards ceremony. This is so gonna blow.

In other news I have major man issues right now too. Really, really. How do I get myself in these messes? I cannot wait for the weekend to be over.....by Sunday at noon everything will be settled or I'll be dead......

Talk Derby To Me

2010-04-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

That's so cliché, but I just had to use it! Going to the KY Derby baby. Totally excited should be one heck of a weekend. Taking off tonight! Hat(s), check; silly but cute dress, check; Makers Mark, check; new camera to document the debouchery CHECK! To top it all off I get to end the weekend with a Pearl Jam concert, woo-freakin-hoo!

This lady told me 'wow, you do a lot of fun things'. That got me thinking yes, yes I do. Well, life ain't gonna live it's self! I want a life full of experiences.

Let's see a few fun things I've done:

Been to Europe, Canada, Mexico, San Juan, the Carribbean and all but 6 states

Taken seven cruises

I was in the Army and spent 10 good years in college, yes 10 why rush out to work for 30+ years oh joy. I got two degrees and a husband out of it, still have those degrees!

Have been engaged 3 times and married/divorced once, you ain't lived til you've been divorced

This is my tenth year doing Ragbrai

I was an extra in a movie and met Peter Fonda

Fished on both coasts crabbing in VA and caught a 21 inch salmon on the Chehalis River, WA

Shot a deer and buffalo, even went turkey hunting

Tasted wine in Carmel, Calif and ate tacos in Tijuana

Done most every job, waited tables, delivered papers, med, education, factor, retail

Climbed the Rockies and skiied Black Diamonds

Skydived…not tandem

Gone to 7 Pearl Jam concerts in 6 states and 2 countries, plus seen everyone Tom Petty to Snoop Dogg

So many adventures. So many more to come......

We Got a Jumper

2010-04-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

"Holy God. This is going to change my life in a zillion different ways. I must be nuts." Vanilla Sky

I'm always asking myself, 'are you crazy?' The answer is always the same- yes, certifiable. I don't know how I get myself into things. Most of the time it is reactionary. Recently I've taken a step back in time, letting someone back into my life for reasons that just aren't clear. Well, that's not totally true. He never really left, he was just kept at bay by distance, situations, and people. He moves me in a way that is unexplainable, I am smitten.

and I hate it.

Men suck they are always there turning your life upside down, breezing in and out creating havoc like a Kansas tornado. I'm not a real touchy feely kinda of a girl. Yet around him I am all nervously giddy, it's like an out of body experience; I don't recognize myself. I should have ran when he strolled up to me and looked at me 'that way'. But no, I stood there rooted to the spot wondering why my drink wasn't stronger and if anyone else could hear our exchange. We have a connection like no other and that is scary. Like being tethered to someone with a bungee cord. Will I jump? Currently I'm standing near the edge hoping or excitement and exhilaration ......but most of all that I won't slam into the ground.

Nobody told me

2010-04-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

You ever feel like everyone go the playbook and you didn't? Everyone else knows the rules, has practiced, knows each play and has a great coach. They're out there catching tosses, cruising down the field and making touchdowns. Meanwhile, I'm just stumbling/fumbling around the field; not sure which way to go. Waiting-hoping-praying for a catch able hail mary before my clock runs out...........

Beauty supply store hair I come

2010-04-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well it is day 6 of my full on April training. It's going just ok, I caved to couple of play things last weekend. On the upside both things included getting some miles. Easter Sunday was just good, I had issues getting my road bike ready some road riding. But in the end it all worked itself out (except I can't get that stupid bike computer back on!) and I got to participate in Bike Sunday school for the first time.

Bike Sunday school, well simply put is a bike+fellowshipping+ good eats+good wine. Good times.

Stumbled upon a very interesting site today, they have been added to my distractions. Smuve complexion on the girl on this site is amazing, very informative (if you need some hair/makeup tips, like I truely need). She has a very friendly personality, watching her videos is like hangin with you bestest girlfriends. I love the way she give this 'I look good glace', awesome. This is all just in time as I have been looking for a hot look for the Kentucky Derby/Pearl Jam super weekend. Plus I need a sustainable look for a summer of riding/humidity. Ya know.

Likewise, I need a really cute look for the Duathlon! Don't let anybody fool you into thinking you can look any kinda way for a race. Honey there will be pictures! There is no reason to look a hot mess just because you are racing. I got my eye on this one piece skirted outfit, that I can bike/run in, and a slicked back ponytail. Trust me if you look good you feel good, and you want to feel good at the start/finish line!

April....bring it on.

2010-04-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

Holy nice weather out. I now realize it is time to go into hyper get in shape mode! Must fit back into small bike skirts. No more dinking around, got much training to do, gotta pay to play and all those other motivating cliches! I dragged my lazy but out of bed this morning and got in a pretty decent run (seeing as it's been a week), sweated the last bit of that cold out of me.

The plan is to go hard core for the next 30 days. I've ditched all my play dates...run, work, bike, run, work, bike.....that's it....the plan for 30 days. May 1st will be my reward weekend as I am going to the Kentucky Derby!!! Yea, that should be....interesting...then cap off the weekend seeing the man that makes my heart sing........Eddie Vedder!! It will be a loooong super party weekend...can't wait!

Where the sidewalk ends....

2010-03-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

It ends in Grimes.

Yep, I found the end. So may training (and I use that term lightly) has taken me jogging through the small town of Grimes. After mapping out a couple of routes on the ole computer I took to the streets. As I was slogging along I noticed a path running behind some homes in a newer subdivision. Awesome, I thought, a trail to checkout; my mind filling in the spots I couldn't see from the road.

At my turn around point I decided to take the "trail" back. After scurrying down a incline, and almost falling on my ample rear, I was there, on the car free "trail". Twenty feet later I come to THE END. It just stopped dead at a tilled field, done! Weird as I knew I had clearly seen the "trail" at the other end. After some investigation and some trekking through a muddy field I see the "trail" did start again fifty feet later!

Even better is my bike commute to work, or my escape from Alcatraz, I mean Grimes. There is no 'easy' way to bike out of there without taking some risks. There is hwy 141 to the east (that can be tricky in my car), James street to the west (2 lane, obstructed views, no shoulder, nuff said). I head east to work on hwy 44 (I've been warned about this road). There is a sidewalk....but it ends at the intersection! HA! So I pedal like mad to the 141 underpass, hoping no sun blinded, cell phone talker takes me out. Whew, sidewalk starts (again) on the other side of the underpass. 100 yards later.....it ends.....no I must get back on the road that has now narrowed to 2 lanes. Yea! This goes on for about a mile, before I am in the clear and on a sizeable sidewalk oh and over half way there.

So for all those drivers that say "why can't they be on the trail/sidewalk"? It ended.

My Microadventure.....

2010-03-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

PathLessPedaled - Gold Country from Russ Roca on Vimeo.

Bicycling From Iowa to Mt Rushmore (Rapid City, SD)

Timeframe – 2 weeks(ish)

States to Visit – IA, SD

Miles to Cover – 699.19

Average Miles per Riding Day – 73(give or take 30)

Attractions – Ionia Volcano, Spirit Mound, Gavin’s Point Dam Visitor Center Marty, SD church, Headquarters for the Teton Sioux Nation.

A brief general description of the route:

Iowa -I’ll just work my way northwest, hopefully ending up in places where I know I can crash. You know play it by ear.

South Dakota (Lewis and Clark Trail)- Following part of the Lewis & Clark Bicycle Trail as closely as possible. Not sure yet if I will be taking the northern route through South Dakota via I 90 or the southern back road route.

Check this website (www.lewisandclarktrail.com)

The weather in mid June is sure to be hotish and humid, but can’t be as bad as going South last year. Besides, I enjoy the summer, because the days are long and the ride is leisurely. Personally I am always just hoping for no rain.

Got most of my gear from last years trip. Stilling hoping to get a new bike here soon and possibly a basket and speakers. Plan to shove off from Grimes, IA on June 13^th for my first full day of riding. The video above makes me want to leave today!!!

Road less travelled

2010-03-10T11:40:00.000-08:00

This weekend I'm headed up north with some girlfriends, a 3 hour drive a girls weekend. We happen to be going to a town in Minnesota that none of us have been to. When I mentioned this to a guy friend recently his first question was....'So you guys got a Garmin?' Say, what? Um, no.....we got an old fashioned map. It's a town of like 40,000 people....how lost can we get.

I like all the technology advances and I was totally stoked today when I found out Google Maps now include bike routes. But the Garmins and TomToms people have really gone overboard. What is wrong with just stopping and asking directions? Get out of your little car bubble and meet a local.

Couple of years ago a friend and I drove 9 hours to Kentucky for a party and horse race...neither one of us had ever been there and our rental car didn't have a Garmin. Hold your hat.....yes, we got lost, twice. Whipped through part of Ohio, then through some rolling back roads of Kentucky. It was so pretty, you know off the major interstate. To this day we laugh about it and how great we would be on Amazing Race.

Here's a tip instead of letting the map system plot the course for you get a map and just drive. Take a wrong road, yes go the wrong way.... you might just stumble upon something cool.

Engaging

2010-03-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

“We were perfectly happy until we decided to live happily ever after.” -Sex and the City

What's with the rush to get married? I've been engaged three times and married once (that didn't work out) needless to say personally I enjoy the engagement part more. It seems lately that everyone is in a hurry to get married, got engaged then year later getting married, then baby....hold up put the brakes on.

Really some people date for 5, 6 10 years before they get married. But once that engagement ring is on it's off to the freakin races. What's the rush? Personally I am looking for a guy who is all into loooong engagements. Why not enjoy all that the engagement period has to offer? Not totally sure what that is but heck everyone seems soooo happy to be engaged enjoy it.

The last guy I was engaged to was 'so hurt' (his words) that I was not itching to pick a date right away. I kid you not. Let's face it you spend a whole year planning, picking colors, dresses, locations, chicken or steak...blah, blah, blah. All the whoha for ONE day. That you don't really get to enjoy cause you are all stressed about it being perfect or whatever. Then off you go on holiday, return home and go to work. Yeah....not.

I think a good 5-10 year engagement is in order. You can save up money and pay for your wedding instead of robbing your parents of their retirement. What a nice challenge for the couple to work towards together...ah. You get to know each other, make sure you are growing together in the same direction. Well, heck if it all falls apart and you go your separate ways before the 5-10 is up bonus...no need for an attorney...your not married.. oh and you can just split your savingings. Joy!

Now the only down side is the whole living in sin part. But really enough good deeds and the big may just give you a pass.

I want to ride.....

2010-02-24T12:56:00.000-08:00

"Let me tell you what I think of bicycling. I think it has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world. It gives women a feeling of freedom and self-reliance. I stand and rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on wheels..the picture of free, untrammeled womanhood."

Susan B Anthony

What fear are you forced to face the most?

2010-02-23T10:59:00.000-08:00

Reading one of my fave blogs (rudecactus) I came across this question: What fear are you forced to face the most? umm, yea I didn't comment as I am super lurker. My fear I face the most is dealing with people. Weird huh? Most people wouldn't believe that as I am a social butterfly in certain situations (and by certain situations I mean those involving adult beverages).

People have no idea what I got through to just to get myself to an event. Maybe it's more a fear of being judged than anything. I prepare, prepare, prepare. At times I even practice what I'll say, run scenarios in my head, what if ....then.

It's the daily interaction that is the hardest. As a result I tend to keep to myself. Work in a cube alone and my hobby has become solitary cycling. Lived alone for a looong time (that didn't help), only recently did I move in with someone. While that has been, um, tricky; it has also forced me out of my comfort shell. Still it is exhausting.

How did I get like this, you ask? I come from a big family, it wasn't easy getting word in. In elementary school 'interaction' was my thing (ie talked A LOT). Then a bit later my grades slipped, not my fault I hate math-still do. This one teacher, never forget it, told my mom (a teacher) I could live up to my potential if I decreased the talk time. Got me in a lot of trouble. Having my mom as my 4th grade teacher didn't help. After slipping and calling her mom once in front of the whole class I figured saying nothing was the best plan.

There's no wonder being married didn't work out for me, heck my dating relationships only last about 2 years tops. Agh! But I'm workin on it......thus the roommate. Baby steps....

Just Du it!

2010-02-21T19:25:00.000-08:00

Just watched this movie "What Love is" it was really good. I'm thinking about buying it. It was all about relationships and the views of men/women. Pretty funny...probably because a lot of it was so true.

So tomorrow I am gonna sign up for the Duathlon. I was going thru old pics today and wow how awesomely fit was I in the early nineties! I am so gonna be back to that this summer. I start my training tomorrow. Need to get outside ASAP, weather permitting next weekend I'll start with the 2 miler I mapped near the house. Kinda excited...checked out some really cute pink and black tri shorts. No matter what anybody says....looking good is really energizing! 83 days...........

Service is Job One!

2010-02-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

So the Legends/Teacher battle is all over the place. I first got the email through facebook, but I guess it was also on craigslist, cyclone fanatic and two news stations. See the story here http://www.kcci.com/video/22589277/

Personally I think they were both wrong. The manager/owner guy more so than the teacher. Since when did 'the customer is always right' stop being the norm. They both could learn from the saying 'pick your battles'. If your customer is angry, placate them. You can talk all the crap you want about them AFTER the are gone and well out of ear shot. It sure beats having to apologize all over the place later. As for the angry email, I TOTALLY understand that, been there before. This however is an example of writing in anger, you should sleep on it a day or two, revise, then send it to the person directly involved. This particular situation really did not warrant the muddying of the name of a whole chain.

Customer services is lacking a whole lot now a days and I believe people are just ticked. People are working in service positions and they just don't care. They have zero stake in if the company does well or not, so a customer complaint is "not their problem". Employers need to stop thinking a pay check is all the motivation a person needs to do a good job, and employees need to start doing your job if you don't like it, find another one.

Billz

2010-02-17T12:40:00.000-08:00

We were supposed to be going to Vegas! Agh. See my girlfriend is turning 30 and I suggest we go to Vegas for the occasion (she has never been), besides it's warm there. Waaay back in early January I found an awesome price and kept saying lets book. But no. Now it is almost twice the price! Agh.

I wouldn't really care but I have totally been telling people "We're going to Vegas!" Crap. I can't spend a fortune for a trip right now. There is a new bike on the horizon, bills to pay, long distance trip, bills to pay, other fun trips, and did I mention bills to pay! Now what?!

Oh, did I fail to mention that my sister says she can get me the money 5k for the house I was looking at. I should be happy about this, but I'm not. First of all yes I want the house, or wanted when the possibility was out of reach. The reality of it is that is a HUGE responsibility to take on and I already that the mother load of stress inducing bills. Second of all I'm not sure that I really want to be on the hook because that kind of money comes with a complimentary box of guilt I am sure. Lastly I was supposed to be going to Vegas.

Green Beaver

2010-02-13T22:18:00.000-08:00

Trying to work out and Ragbrai plan early. Sure the plan will change a hundred times between now and July but oh well. Today was a good day. Totally slept in after being out pretty late Friday night. Got in a hour of a wii workout then went to the Team Lower Beaver meeting, part of my Ragbrai plan, it will cost me though. When doesn't it?

Should have picked up a lottery ticket today. Had another lucky moment on the way to the meeting. Called into the radio station and was caller ten! Winner, winner! Prize the new Beyonce cd, some chocolates and a free movie! Ya! Seeing as I won a massage on Wednesday people have taken to calling me lucky at work. Ha! If only I were really. I have at some moments but that is all moments.

Looking forward to Spring and riding the bike I won last Fall. This is my cool New Belgium cruiser!

It's snowing.....again. So yea, I am just dreaming of warmer days, happy times rolling on two wheels to the next cold one. I always have moments (there's that word again) of clarity on my bicycle. Times when I am happy with my life and the people in it. That's one of the reasons for my bike trip. When I am biking things seem easier not so complicated. This is gonna be the best summer ever. I'm putting that out there in the universe so it may come back to me!

Read My Lips

2010-02-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been surprised by the sound of your own voice? I am all the time. Which is weird. You'd think I'd be used to it as I talk to myself ALL the time. Talked myself right out of working out this morning. Decided that one day off a week is good. I'll workout tomorrow (wii) and then try a long/short ride on the trainer Saturday/Sunday.

Plans for the weekend....got two birthday parties, and a meeting (sorta) with bike team I am thinking of doing Ragbrai with. Oh yes and it is supposed to snow AGAIN!

Wii

2010-02-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

“Unless you change what you think, you will always get what you’ve got!”

Just working out, eating right(kinda), clearing my head and getting ready for Spring! It is my goal to lose 12 pounds by March 6th! Skipped out on the trainer this morning because it was flipping cold in the garage. Logged some wii fit time, my coordination sucks. To this day I regret giving away my treadmill. What was I thinking.

Weeks Until
St Pats – 5
School Over - 18
Trip - 20
Ragbrai - 25

While I really over this terrible winter, I have to step up my game because spring always seems to pop up when you least expect it.

Back in the saddle!

2010-02-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Well two months into 2010. Found out the Ragbrai route about a week ago. Should be a good time, but only if I meet my goal. Had planned on not going out, drinking or partying in February. Yea that is not going well. Did not ride BRR, did party and drink. Bike is not in good shape anyway, however it is on the trainer.

BRR was fun yet eye opening experience for me. I guess I knew, but it became crystal clear that some people are not on my side. Not a big fan of cutting people out of my life, but I will be dealing less with them. Oh well sometimes you have to move people to the side so that you can move forward.

So with 'drama' and 'mind games' out of way I have more room for adventures and fun!

2010-02-09T09:07:00.001-08:00

Well, yet another snow day, well actually it is a ice day. Car was one big block of ice! But I got to sleep in then play wii, and then some time on the trainer (15 miles/ 1 hr). One goal of the year is to lose about 40 pounds, by June! My New Years resolution was pretty simple – Do Things Differently! That about sums it up, as my previous way of doing things hasn’t worked. So working out, eating will always be a problem, but I am trying. (1/20/10)

“I want to do it because I want to do it.” – Amelia Earhart

2010-02-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

“There is a fundamental opportunity for happiness right within our reach, yet we usually miss it while we are caught up in attempts to escape pain and suffering.” Pema Chodron

So once again I am attempting a long distance, self-contained bicycle excursion. I have been reading a lot of material for encouragement and inspiration. Documentation of this adventure will also be a daunting task but one that I will be grateful for in the future. In about 5 months I will take off for Rapid City, South Dakota; destination Mount Rushmore.

Still in the planning stages at the moment; multiple routes are being examined. Looking in getting a new bike also, not sure how that is going to work out just yet. It sure would be nice as the Cannondale is in need of a major overhaul. Have been checking out the Rocky Mountain Sherpa (dream bike!), have to come up with the funds.

I am determined to complete this trip and not get derailed like last summers trip. My failure to complete last years trip creates more of a challenge in completing this one.

Short and Sweet

2009-10-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

So for sometime now I have been debated ending this whole blog thing. I have a ton of reasons why. Well not a ton but some. Fortunately (or unfortunately, it remains to be seen) I have a hard time tossing things. But to continue on I will have to make some changes. I’m making a lot of changes lately.

Nevertheless to continue I have got to stop with the long drawn out stories. For a while there is was becoming like those dreaded book reports I had to write in high school. Hopefully if the entries I shorter they will also be..um better…whatever that means, and also less daunting. Kind of like a Facebook status but not really!

Summer is over bring it on Fall Part 2

2009-09-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

After a sub par kick off to the sumer with my lame attempt at a bike tour, I took to hiding out. Yeah I'm still sulking about that, because I can. What can I say that's what I do it how I deal with self diagnosed depression. I forced myself out for the occasional ride, sometimes out of necessity. Oh that's right I forgot to mention my car broke down. Yea, the crapping serpentine belt came off, again!!

Sarah was there to rescue me again, she talked Josh into "lookig at it"when we got back which led to him putting on new brakes. (Gosh I miss leasing) While he rpaired my car they loaned me theirs. That I broke! Seriously, I broke it the same weekend I was supposed to return it and pick up mine. I kid you not. Josh then had to pick p their car with a flat bed truck. I felt so super bad. It was my fault too. Driving that car to Minnesota was not the best plan. See this is why I hide out, when I leave the house bad things happen.

Actually Minnesota was one bright spot in the summer. Got invited to Okoboji, had a great time on the lake with some fun drama free people. Then spent like three days hanging out in the Cities.We even biked over to the beautiful town of Stillwater. Steve was right I should have spent more of the summer there....I was happy that week.

Summer is over bring it on Fall Part 1

2009-09-16T12:44:00.000-07:00

Long time no blogging, huh? Yea, I know what can I say I have no excuses. It's not like I have been busy, just lazy, stressed, anxious, and annoyed. Nothing has been going my way, really. For a while there things seriously went from bad to worst like overnight. They aren't better yet but at least jumping off a cliff is no longer on the list of options.

It was a long hot summer…..and not so hot. I feel like if I had slept through the whole summer it would have been just as well if not better. Oh my trip, you want to know about my trip. Doesn't everyone, well they did. Let's just say some day I will learn to keep my mouth shut. I went tell everyone about my trip and so by departure day I was sick with anticipation and worry. It would have been nice to have had some support. (the story of my life) But I couldn't even mention it to my family as they had already declared it super duper dangerous. For the most part it was ok. Would I do it again? Sure. Just next time I will focus more on the finances and less on the mapping details. To this day I don't know how I thought I was gonna do that on a shoe string budget. It could be done….just not by me. Nevertheless, I bike all the way to just north of St Louis before I threw in the towel.

My luck being what it is it was hotter than blazes. It wasn't as scary as I thought camping alone. But did I mention that it was so freaking hot. Matter a fact with used my stealth camping skills and didn't pay for a single night of camping! More money for a hotel and I surely would have gone further. But like I said it was hot and when I rolled into this town and the lady at the convenience store told me there was no bar in town "it's a dry county" I was so ready to go home.

Thank good heavens I have one super duper bff, Sarah. She drove all the way down there, the very next day to pick my but up. Oh by the way one month later it was much cooler....figures.

I was thoroughly disappointed that I did not complete the entire trip. The rest of my summer suffered dramatically due to my lack of accomplishment.

2009-06-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

Bicycling From Iowa to Mississippi
Timeframe – 2 weeks
States to Visit – IA, IL, KY, TN, AL, MS
Miles to Cover – 955
Average Miles per Riding Day - 73
Attractions – Baxter Vineyards, Grafton Ferry, Chateau Ra-Ha Winery, Piasa Winery, Piasa Bird, Statue of Robert Pershing Wadlow World's Smallest, Schorr Lake Vineyard, Popeye, Shawnee Winery, Superman Statue, Kentucky Dam, Elk and Bison Prairie, Mini Eiffel Tower, Meriweather Lewis, Oprah Winfrey hometown, and Waterfowl Refuge.

A brief general description of the route:

Mississippi River Trail
The Mississippi River Trail (MRT) is a 10-state bicycling route still in development.
In Illinois, the MRT route consists of trails and bike-friendly roads. Check this website (www.bikelib.org/mrt) for detailed information and a very useful guide.
This route covers about 293 miles of the Illinois portion of the MRT.

Kentucky Connection
After Chester, Illinois I will leave the MRT to crossover to the Natchez Trace. This 342 mile jaunt will pass through western Kentucky and Tennessee. Mostly riding on back roads, a state park and the Land Between the Lakes National Recreation Area. Land Between Lakes has many miles of old logging roads and scenic back roads perfect for cycling.

Natchez Trace
The Natchez Trace Parkway runs in a northeasterly direction, cutting a swath diagonally across the entire state of Mississippi. It cuts across the extreme northwest corner of Alabama, crosses the Tennessee River into Tennessee, and finally ends in the beautiful hills of the Cumberland Plateau southwest of Nashville.
I will be cycling 320 miles of the Trace from north to south beginning south of Nashville and ending in Jackson, MS.

A self-supported multi-day tour of the Natchez Trace is pretty common. Campgrounds and motels are close by most of the way. Besides going near several state parks and private campgrounds, there are several bike-only campgrounds along the Trace maintained by the National Park Service.

The weather in mid June is sure to be quite hot and humid, but after multiple Ragbrai’s, it shouldn’t be anything I can’t handle. Besides, I enjoy the summer, because the days are long and the ride is leisurely. Personally I am just hoping for no rain.

7 day count down......

2009-06-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

"It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them." – Ernest Hemingway

In one week I will embark on my first solo self contained bike tour.!?

I wasn’t sure what punctuation to end that sentence with. I chose all three because I feel period –blah, exclamation point- yea, and question mark-uncertainty.
The lingering questions: Can I do this? Why am I doing this? Answer: to,um, see if I can. You see uncertainty.

I’ll admit the enormity of this trip has not truly sunk it. It is going to be tough, well parts will be and it will be long 950 miles worth of long. I've ridden multi days before, many miles, and self contained. However, past success does not guarantee future results. I still have to crank out the miles, this time all by myself.

Given I have some reservations and doubts, I’ve been oddly quick to tell everyone about my endeavor. In hindsight I probably should have not told a soul until I was well on my way. However, I let one persons lack on confidence shove me prematurely out of the gate.

You see, in the last couple (ok 5) years I’ve let some people, events and actions eat away at my self-confidence. A self-confidence that I didn't come into easily. So when life dealt me a devastating blow - especially from a blindside - though I did't know it at the time, getting up was the easy part . Regaining my footing and trust again, in others but mostly in myself, that has been much harder.

That's one of the reasons I need to take this trip - I need to believe in myself the way I used to. Reclaim that 'I'll try anything once' assurance. I don't have anything to prove to anyone except myself. It is a personal attempt to reaffirm my belief, my trust in me.

I know that I can do this physically, ya know. The thing is I falsely believed that I was mentally recovered from my knock down three years ago. Outwardly I was taking huge strides but on the inside I barely crawling. Mentally I have to believe in me doing this and when it's over I will be able to more clearly understand and explain why.

Seven days and counting............

Crazy with doubt

2009-06-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

Gosh it's been a while, eh? I really can't believe it is June already. Things have just been darn right crazy for me. Totally living in crazy town. Work has been nuts, but at least I only have a week left before summer break time...oh happy day.

I have been riding, I have 658 miles on the ole Red Rover! I have never had that many before Ragbrai even. My head/heart is filled with both excitement and fear when it comes to my bike trip. Going through the whole route yesterday turn by turn I felt ready to take off. Unfortunately I still have some details have yet to work out and when my mind turns to them I break out in cold sweats.

The trip is supposed to start on the 15th...or the 16th, I been wavering on that. I have no idea exactly how I am getting to the start. hmm....I have yet to purchase a tent, heck I have never even been camping alone before. This is so nutty. Due to the student loan monster I am doing this on the cheap so hotelling it is not really an option. Oh and I have a few 'issues' I have to iron out in the next day or two or this is all be a bust.

While I am disappointed that I will be missing out on some really fun rides while I am gone the adventure will surely make up for that...I hope. Yes I have some doubts, try as I might to ignore them. I guess it is just hard right now to wrap my mind around this trip until I get things taken care of here at home.

Missing my Bike

2009-05-20T06:21:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday I hit 400 miles for the year! Rode to work, what a beautiful morning. The weather has turned, no jacket needed even with the breeze. Biking to work really does make me feel pretty darn good when I get to work, much better than driving. I wish I could be one of those people who just gives up their car entirely. Do see that happening though, not anytime soon.

After work decided to meet up with Dave for drinks at the Cab. Tried to take the trail but following the trail through Johnston into Urbandale turned out to be a little tricky. Johnston trails are not as well signed as the trails in Clive. Ended up off the trail and on the streets well before I wanted. Not a big fan of wearing a helmet so I try to stay off the streets as much as possible.

The Cab's patio sets facing the west sun, so I got to work on my 'tan'. The heat from the sun was so wonderful and made the pitcher (with a bag of ice) really tasty. It was good to catch up with Dave, he got a new Cyclocross bike it looks really cool. It should make for a much nicer Ragbrai ride than the tank he rode last year. He will most certainly need a rack and bag as that duffle bag he was carrying did not look comfortable. That's the thing about biking there is always more stuff to get!

I didn't bike to work today, so sad, as it is another beautiful day. But I have some errands to run and would like to be back downtown in time for the Ride of Silence today.

Workin on Working Out

2009-05-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

I am having a real hard time losing weight. I realize that I don't eat all that great, but I try. Being slightly stressed out for some time now is not helping at all. Biking to work 2-3 times a week (22 miles round trip) I thought would help, but so far not really. In like the last week I have lost all of 1 pound, good grief.

Oh happy day, Helen won the Biggest Loser. I did not want that cocky kid Mike or the whiner Tara to win. Is it just me or do some of the people look really emaciated? Props to that old guy Jerry for losing all that weight but he just didn't look right.

That's what frustrates me about my weight. I'm not huge, and I don't want to be a skinny minny. I just want to be a little smaller, fitter, toner. Why must it be such a challenge?

2009-05-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

Where are you happy place? I need you............

Odd man out

2009-04-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

My FOMO (fear of missing out) anxiety has been kicked into high gear. Um, yea, so everybody and their mother is going to the Kentucky Derby......except me!

How did this freaking happen?! Seriously. I was kinda sorta planning on going to the Cities to see Steve this weekend. That is until he informs me that he too is now going to the Derby. Oh even better he is going with Catt!! Yeah, out of the kindness of my ice cold heart I texted Catt earlier this week to say "have a great time at the Derby". He texted me "well I'd like you to go sometime". Um, for that to happen he kinda have to invite me! Nevertheless, he never mentioned once that Steve was going!

I know you thinking she's just jealous. Um, yea!!!! I wanna go too!!! Wait the best part is Steve wants to stop by on his way through town. Now I'm not sure if I should be ticked or really ticked. Way to rub it in.

Whateva, I'm going to Wine Night tonight. Maybe after a wine warm up I'll switch to Bourbon and drink til I think I at the Derby. So there!

Ok, maybe not it is a school night.

The sky is not falling

2009-04-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

Chris over at Rude Cactus recently blogged about Scare Tactics. It seems we are nation living in fear....of everything. At least that's my view of it. I mean geez this latest 'terror' Swine Flu the media is doing everything it can to get everyone all frenzied. Yet they always throw in a 'no need to panic' comment.

This last weekend I was laid up for like three days with a serious cold/flu thing. All the while I sat eating chicken soup I listened to this Swine Flu deluge. I didn't once think of running to my doctor or the nearest ER, even though I had all the symptoms and traveled to Texas recently. I did for the sake of my co-workers and fellow citizens stay home from work multiple days. Didn't leave my apartment for like for days!(yea, I'm still catching up on work) I'm much better now thanks. Steve called like everyday to see how I was doing, so sweet.

Basically it all boils down to what you should have learn as a kid: wash hands, cover your mouth when you cough and when your sick stay home. (oh and eat your vegetables!)

Amazing weekend!

2009-04-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

It was a good weekend. Really. Steve came to town pretty late Friday, he ran into a few snags getting out of town. Either way I was glad to see him. I had to get up early Saturday as I had volunteered to help with registration for the Mayors Ride. Turns out they had a crap load of volunteers and I really didn't do much.

By the time the ride started so did the rain. Thank goodness Steve was here because I might have totally backed out otherwise. I don't like riding in the rain/cold. Even though I warmed up after riding I was still wet. Nevertheless we had a good ride, hung out at a couple of stops along the way. When it finally stopped raining we took off for my place(with a quick stop for lunch!). When we got home we took hot showers and a quick nap! Yea!

With our second wind behind us....Steve and I headed out to get our drink on. The rum and coke was flowing and my filter quickly dropped. Next thing I know I was talking to everybody and anybody. I hate when I go there. Mostly because at that point I can remember who I talked to about what. It was all one blah, blah, blah, blur!

We got out bikes and headed for the Bait Shop where I continued to talk to random people about who knows what. At one point I was at this table talking to some dude who was just annoying, and i was too looped to just walk away, Steve did. Finally (a couple of beers later) Steve came back and rescued me from annoying man and we biked safely back home. Dim tail light and all.

I don't remember going home. Except that I ran my front tire into the mud then made a nice mud trail from the parking lot clear to my apartment! My bike was a big mud mess.

Sunday we biked to the bar (funny when I tell people we go to this bar the give me a look and say 'you know people were shot there) and played Buc Hunter, Steve creamed me. Oh well I beat him the night before so I didn't whine too much. After Steve left I went up to the capital to see Phil from Amazing Race riding for MS. That was cool, I met his dad, nicknamed Diesel. He started talking to me as I was the first cyclist to get there, he didn't realize I only rode three blocks from home...not the entire route! He was really nice, talked me about his wife and how fun the trip has been (he is driving the van). I just loved hearing him talk with that Australian accent, I could listened to him all day.

Operation Muffin Top(ple)

2009-04-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

It's on people! I may have found the motivation that I've been longing for. The other night as I ate not one but TWO Lean Cuisines, washed down by a glass (ok a couple glasses) of Merlot; I swear I heard Jillian from the Biggest Loser screaming 'Why, why'!? The voice got quieter the more the Merlot flowed. Ha!

But I have procrastinated enough. It's officially Spring(even though there is a winter storm coming this weekend) and Summer is coming fast and furious. I stumbled across this today:

Operation Muffin Top(ple)

I'm in like Flynn. It's time to reel in the jiggley people. This should be fun! I want to ride this summer and not fear glancing down at my own thighs. Seriously I want to rock a bikini again this summer.......bring it on!

Good things come in small packages

2009-03-31T13:58:00.000-07:00

Last year I stumbled across these tiny homes. Back when I thought I was gonna buy a home, ha! Anywho, one of the many reasons I decided against buying a home was size. I found reasonable priced homes but I am just one person and they all seemed so big. My paranoia got me thinking I could be sleep in one part of the house and someone could totally break in somewhere else in the house. Hey as a single woman you can’t ignore these things, besides I said paranoia.

So these tiny homes, the ones I like anyway are made by Tumbleweed Houses. So cute! Just looking at them and seeing the videos of people who own them makes me want to go home and throw out a bunch of stuff. I have a very small apartment. In the last 5 years I’ve gone from a house to an apartment to a house to two-bedroom apartment to a one-bedroom apartment to a loftish apartment. Loftish because there are no walls (except for the bathroom).

But I digress, back to the tiny houses. Did I mention they are so cute! Yes to live in one I would once again have to get rid of more stuff. But most of that stuff in tubs in the back of the closet I don’t use/need anyway. I could truly stand to downsize more.

There are other issues I realize like where would I put it. Cities are very fond of them so there are all kinds of codes. Oh and hey they are not exactly free. But still the one I really like B-53 (or the Harbinger) is still cheap than that crazy floor plan house I visited on Hickman last year. Still for sale by the way.

Well a girl can dream……… tiny.

Want to see a tiny house tour........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbRvsWuWNUM&feature=player_embedded

Oh to be a bike commuter

2009-03-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

I should have biked to work today. But I didn't. I wanted to, really, but it is terribly hard to get motivated when it's 32 degrees out. Seriously. I truly envy those people who commute regularly. The real bike commuters that bike at least 5 miles. Around the corner does not a commute make, I know I've done that, you could walk faster.

Nevertheless I am quite aware that I need to get more miles in. Suppose I have to let go of the non commuting guilt and just ride after work. I've actually found a route that has some hills that I dread but must tackle. Oh and bonus it passes very few establishments as taste testing adult beverages will not help my cause. Game on.

In the Spring it's all uphill

2009-03-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Last weekend there was the SPERM ride. It's a nice ride on the trails through Des Moines. There was a great turn out (i think Steve still wins for coming the furthest). The weather was amazing, sunny and warm. Riding in downtown after dark is always really cool to me, everyone's lights on flashing and blinking. I got my social groove and enjoying talking to everyone. I've met some really fun girls through Wine Night that are bikers too, yea!

Steve and I ended up calling it a night pretty early. I think all the sunshine and fresh air just wiped us out. Ok, maybe for me it was getting up early for that class then riding all day, plus capping the evening with shots at Carls. Nevertheless I was asleep by 11pm! Steve woke me up at the crack of dawn with mumbling something about Perkins and pancakes. I tried to ignore him, that was til he mention bacon and coffee. With that we were off to Perkins, after the tasty breakfast we came back and took a nap! HA! Seriously...

The nap was a good idea. Once we woke up (for the second time) we bike up (as in up hill) to Beaverdale and woke up Jo, guess her fun didn't end at Carls. Her new place is really cute, I guess the reward for riding uphill to get there is that great deck and hot tub! After Jo's we biked to the Bait Shop for some tasty Petes Wicked, love that! The bartender told us he owned a bar over on the East Side, so of course we biked over there to check it out. Cool neighborhood bar and they had Big Buck Hunter! Steve beat me but I got more trophies!

All in all it was a really good weekend. Got in some good miles! Thought I would be riding this weekend but that seems iffy. This morning it was 22 degrees when I woke up! Brr. Currently they are forecasting 37 as the high on Saturday. Maybe I'll be back on the trainer.

Web Page Flashback

2009-03-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

Holy back to the future. I just stumbled upon a website I used to maintain back in the day. You know before MySpace, Twitter and Facebook, I had a personal web page. I was really into it for a while links, pictures, descriptions about me and my travels. Looking at it now it seems like a lifetime ago, who was that person.

Some pictures on that web site go back ten years, like these . Miss you my furry buddy! I even had this on my homepage:

I ‘m an old Pearl Jam fan who has been with this glorious band since pretty much their inception (more or less). Through the last so many years this band and their music has been the soundtrack to my life. Their music made the fun times fun and the bad times a little easier to deal with. I believe the main reason why I am such a Pearl Jam admirer (fan) is because they probably best say what I want to say and can't seem to put into words. They are extremely passionate with the music they create, they are honest and sincere and their music both challenges me as well as makes me think.

Yeah, I still loves me some Pearl Jam. Then there were the loves lost. The most romantic proposal I ever got was at Arch Rock, Estes Park. Like this. The coolest place I ever lived was up the rode from Carter Lake. That is heartbreaking hated to move and end that relationship, we had serious potential as a couple. Unfortunately he was jealous and possessive with baggage that included a crazy ex-wife and stepdaughter. Sometimes you have to know when to cut your loses. One of my many learned experiences in Colorado. See it all here if you like.

For a moment I thought of deleting the whole thing. But no, it’s a snapshot of part of my life the good and the bad. I’ve come a long way, babe!

Happy St. Pats Day!

2009-03-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am going to the St. Patty’s Day Parade downtown actually I am going to ride on a bus in the parade. I’ve been kinda sorta working my way up to being actually a participant in the parade. For many years I knew about it and always wondered why all those people were not at work, like me.

Then when St. Patty’s Day fell closer to the weekend I went to the parade but it was rainy and cold, I enjoy neither. Needless to say I decided to try something new. So I went to small town super St. Pattys Day celebration and biked in the parade, where I had a blast!

This year, I am sort of excited. I took off work, heck it is supposed to be darn near 70 degrees! Not sure what I shall be wearing, yet, but I will be rocking a bright a green wig with Shirley Temple curls. It’s gonna be a long day, that I am sure my liver is not prepared for.

I am still shaking off partial winter hibernation. That being said I am, am not exactly party central. I went out every other night for the last week, I am still recouping. So I am getting my drinking legs slowly but surely. What a better way to shore up than a St. Patty’s Day parade and bar hop. This should be interesting….

Why?

2009-03-10T10:36:00.000-07:00

Short Post

One question, with all the music in the world why would you listen to the same Rod Stewart and Beatles tunes EVERYDAY??!!! Seriously, 'If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy.' OMG!!!What is wrong with people?

Amazing Walk

2009-03-10T06:23:00.000-07:00

I could so win the Amazing Race. Where do they find those people on that show, seriously? Sure it looks easier from my couch but some of those people on the show are just unbelievable. I have watched this show many times and people consistently make the same mistakes. Sometimes it seems like the contestants turn their brains off the minute Phil says go. The way I see it to win you just have to remember the following rules.

1. Partner- Choose carefully.
You are going to be in a race, not therapy. So why do people bring along a person that they have issues with? Travelling around the world can put a strain on anyone, don’t bring extra baggage.
2. Amazing Race – Watch it.
A prerequisite of show should be to watch it. Hello, watch and learn.
3. Detours – Pick and Stick.
In a regular race they always recommend not trying something new on race day. When you pick a detour choose wisely and stick to it. Do not change your mind half way through and go try something new, this always leads to failure.
4. Run- Hey it’s a race.
What’s wrong with running? It is a race. Move it people, quit walking around.

Flying Solo

2009-03-06T12:38:00.000-08:00

I’m different. I know that. I’ve always been different, it’s part of what makes me unique, special if you will. That is just how it’s always been, for as long as I can remember. But lately, it seems, I am constantly getting this “you’ve can’t be serious” response from everyone.

For instance my bike trip to Mississippi everyone seems so surprised that I am going alone. Um, why not? Can’t wrap my mind around why not. I am, let’s just say in my 30’s the safety concerns involved with traveling alone have not escaped me. But I can’t not go just because going means going alone. Amelia Earhart flew solo too. I read that she in a letter she left for her husband she wrote:
"Please know I am quite aware of the hazards," she said. "I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others."

Understand that I am not trying to something that hasn’t been done before, nor am I trying to prove something. Ok I maybe proving something to myself. Like Amelia I want to do it because I want to do it. Since I don’t have a death wish I shall take the necessary precautions to be safe.

I suspect the conversations that go on (after I leave the room) about me and my adventurous nature is quite entertaining. What I’d give to be a fly on the wall. Very few people get me; and I get that. But in my short life I’ve done things, seen things, and been places that some people can only imagine. I read this phrase recently and I think it speaks a lot to who I am.

From the outside looking in
It is impossible to understand it
From the inside looking out it is impossible to explain it

Slow Ride

2009-03-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

I’ve never had car issues before. I’ve always had a new car, no issues. In an effort to save money and pay some bills I got a used car and now I have issues, great. Watching House Hunters International on HGTV last night made me want to move to Europe. How sweet would that be? People ride bikes all the time there. Then there's the cool IKEAish furniture, awesome. But mostly for the biking. I could totally ditch my car, the people looking for a home on the show didn't even have a car. Then I stumbled across this recently the Slow Bicycle Movement.

The Slow Bicycle Movement - We're Getting There... Eventually. Dude that is so me. Not to worry. I’m not moving…..yet. But I am gonna slow down and enjoy the ride.

Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most

2009-03-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

Spring is about to be sprung! Yeah! Daylight Savings time happens this weekend and Spring, as far as the calendar goes, is only 16 days away. Happy dance! Think I shall ride my bike to work tomorrow. It is supposed to be 60 degrees! I’m looking forward to more nice days so I can ride to work more often. It’s good for the environment, good training, and good exercise besides my car is having some issues. Those issues may or may not be resolved after I get my long over due oil change today, who knows.

Hard to believe I made it through the winter. It was a hard one for me, it was so cold and going out in the cold stresses me out. Hibernating this year did not go as planned. I was busier this winter than I every have been. Got involved with Wine Night that has been fun. Wine Night is right up my alley, wine and socializing perfect! I’ve also managed to stay in a long distance ‘relationship’ one full year. Who would’ve thought? Where does it go from here? I don’t want to think about it really. Maybe that’s why it has lasted so long, I don’t have to think about it all the time. It just is. I like that, I think, for now. Good Grief.

Road Tripping

2009-02-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

So I’m in the process of planning this bike trip. Iowa to Mississippi a two-week trip all by myself. I know what you are thinking….what, why? I have gotten many different reactions when I tell people; doubt, fear for my safety. Actually I doubted myself to begin with, but I’ve gotten past that, whew.

I’ve been reading maps, stories, online accounts everything. I will most likely be prepared for everything and nothing by June. I plan to leave in June, exciting! The route is roughly planned out (it is sure to change) next task is lodging. The route was fairly easy as there are many trails and maps out there. Lodging is going to be a chore. While I will be carrying a tent I hope to only have to use it say in someone’s backyard. Hey safety first, I’m really not interested in camping alone in any campground. I plan to stay in stay in a hotel or two but not many as I don’t want to rack up costs.

Anyway I am excited. This should be good for me. I just read an article that stated “Just do it, you can always turn back.” What’s the worst that could happen? Ha!