What fear are you forced to face the most?

Reading one of my fave blogs  (rudecactus) I came across this question: What fear are you forced to face the most? umm, yea I didn't comment as I am super lurker. My fear I face the most is dealing with people. Weird huh? Most people wouldn't believe that as I am a social butterfly in certain situations (and by certain situations I mean those involving adult beverages).

People have no idea what I got through to just to get myself to an event. Maybe it's more a fear of being judged than anything. I prepare, prepare, prepare. At times I even practice what I'll say, run scenarios in my head, what if ....then.

It's the daily interaction that is the hardest. As a result I tend to keep to myself. Work in a cube alone and my hobby has become solitary cycling. Lived alone for a looong time (that didn't help), only recently did I move in with someone. While that has been, um, tricky; it has also forced me out of my comfort shell. Still it is exhausting.

How did I get like this, you ask? I come from a big family, it wasn't easy getting word in. In elementary school 'interaction' was my thing (ie talked A LOT). Then a bit later my grades slipped, not my fault I hate math-still do. This one teacher, never forget it, told my mom (a teacher) I could live up to my potential if I decreased the talk time. Got me in a lot of trouble. Having my mom as my 4th grade teacher didn't help. After slipping and calling her mom once in front of the whole class I figured saying nothing was the best plan.

There's no wonder being married didn't work out for me, heck my dating relationships only last about 2 years tops. Agh! But I'm workin on it......thus the roommate. Baby steps....