Yesterday was roller coaster type of a day. I admit it mostly my own fault. I tend to take good things to the highest high and lows to the lowest low. I should probably be on medication, but like my drugs recreationally thanks. This is something I must work through myself, and I’m trying.
Due to a lot of my experiences, I know what it is that I need, what it is that I want, and where it is that I need to be in order for me to consider myself in a happy place. There are things that change. For a lot of people that happy place changes for me not so much as I am a simple girl. But of course, it isn’t always that simple.
Not simple mostly because there are a lot of outside of me forces. The major forces at work include:
Family- The level of guilt they place on me is crushing. There is a reason behind my living 12 hours away and why I haven’t been home in 2 years. I just need them to be there and I want them to not dump on me or stress me out. My true calling was to be an orphan…… that would be simpler.
Gentlemen friends- Women maybe crazy, but men suck. I don’t like the term boyfriend. I am a grown ass woman, not sixteen. Why can’t two adults agree that to hang out together and have sleepovers. Treat each other with respect, neither party is obligated to call numerous times a week. Gifts are only for when you want not because of some silly holiday. When it’s not fun anymore, say so and move on. See no breakup…..that would be simpler. I want my guy to be there for me, I need him to not try and be my dad, advisor, social secretary or annoyance.
Friends- I adore my friends. But I’ve found friends don’t always have your best interest at heart. They mean no harm but they want you in a ‘place’ that is comfortable for them. If only they could accept that my goals in life aren’t traditional. Therefore I don’t need help getting where you think I supposed to be going. Let’s just be friends…….that would be simpler.
Work-When did work become such a joke. What ever happened to somebody being in charge, telling people what to do and them doing, done. No there are committees and useless meeting. Some days it’s life living in bizzaro land. I need to win the lottery…..that would be simpler. I need to have a job, I want to not be forced to place get to know you games.
So if you’re following me it is quite simple. I need a guy who is down, friends who are cool, a job where I actually work, and a family that doesn’t drive me to self medicate.
2 comments:
well said.
Simple. :)
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